We all have a voice inside our heads that tries desperately to halt progress and resist change. Most of these voices stem from fear– fear of progress, fear of change, and fear of not being good enough. The voices can be powerful– whisper or yell until it gets its way or drive us nuts trying.
Fear of Progress: That voice belongs to “The Gremlin.” The Gremlin is a concept that was developed by Richard Carson. The Gremlin prefers to maintain the status quo in our lives and is kind of a “wolf in sheep’s clothing.” It appears to be trying to protect us but in actuality, keeps us from moving forward and achieving what we really want out of life. It abhors change and encourages the person—whether it’s you or your employee, student, client, or child, to shy away from taking a chance on him or herself. When I work with my coaching clients, we decipher what that voice is trying to say– “Don’t do it! You’ll get hurt! You won’t like it! Let’s just stay here doing what we’ve always done and we’ll be safe.” Therefore, the Gremlin Effect is when we allow fear to take control of our lives, keep us peddling in place or retreating from our goals. Do you know that voice?
Another is the voice of what I call, The Tantruming Child. This is our inner complainer that would rather just stay in bed under a blanket than move forward. It stamps it’s feet and says “I don’t wanna!” And just like with our own tantruming child, sometimes, we give in. It’s not about safety- like our Gremlin– but more about comfort. Going out of our comfort zone is, well, uncomfortable. And we figure, or our tantruming child will have us believe, that we shouldn’t force anything on ourselves. So, of course, we make the same mistakes over and over again when we give up or give in. Procrastinate or pushback. Stop or cop out.
Finally, we have what I call The Cross Examiner or the Inquisitor. This is the voice that questions everything someone else says– everything we say– and makes us wonder what’s really true. If you watch the video above of my colleague, Jenni Schaefer (recovered from an eating disorder) talking about “Societal ED” or the voice that made her question, “Do I need to lose weight?” you’ll see that these little questions can have a big impact. It’ll say; “What did he mean by that? Do you think she still likes you? Should you really be doing/eating/saying/feeling that? These questions cause us to ruminate and wonder what we should think– and what others are thinking too.
We can’t allow the Gremlin, the Tantruming Child, or the Cross Examiner to take the driver’s seat when it comes to our goals—or the goals of children, teens, or loved ones in our lives. We must stay vigilant about what’s happening or these voices will be in control and we won’t go anywhere. And you know what? We’ve got places to go!
I’d love to hear what you think. Comment here or on my Facebook Fan Page! Do these voices sometimes jump into the Driver’s Seat in your life? How do you combat it? Sometimes speaking directly to it– shining light on it– and letting it know you are on to it is all that’s needed to turn down the volume. But you tell me– how can we take the lead in our own lives and stifle the doubters– even if it’s our own selves?
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The loudest voice in my head is closely linked to The Inquisitor; I call it The Judge. This is the voice stating that whatever I try will not be good enough, thereby sabatoging any effort towards change or the new and instilling the fear of ever trying something new, as it will not be good enough or will not be done “correctly” the first time, a totally insane notion that I am thankful did not enter the minds of Thomas, Edison, Albert Einstein and the like.