Schools’ jobs are to educate, not to promote eating disorders –Rebecca Tishman
High school students have a fascinating perspective– being on the front lines of school culture, they can certainly help us to understand the pressures of being a teenager today. Rebecca Tishman, a high school senior in New Jersey, knows what she thinks. As someone recovering from an eating disorder, she points out some of the major pitfalls that schools may be falling into inadvertently– even when they are trying to help their students live a healthy life.
Are Schools Empowering Students or Helping Them Have Eating Disorders?
by: Rebecca Tishman
Well just about everyone who meets me eventually finds out I’m recovering from an eating disorder. It’s been a constant struggle for many years now, and, while I don’t blame my disorder on the school system, I have found many of the subjects discussed in health classes, and other similar classes, to be triggering. Many of the topics covered over the years have fueled my ED and many others’.
Since the fourth grade, teachers have been drilling the food pyramid into my mind and the minds of my peers. I can’t remember going even a day in school without receiving a faulty message like:
“Only eat healthy foods. Fat is bad.”
“’Junk food’ is the root of all evil.”
“Diet and Exercise are the keys to success.”
“Eat foods in moderation.”Believe me, I am constantly catching myself thinking in these black and white statements and have to “reframe my thinking,” as we like to call it in therapy. After three years of tense therapy sessions, weekly nutrition appointments, semi-weekly check-ups, and even more I’m finally starting to realize it may be beneficial to resist the messages and even fight back against them. Unfortunately, I’m not so sure my peers, who haven’t had the “benefit” of all of these resources, can decode the messages.
What I wish the schools would tell me and my peers is that:
- All food, whether deemed “healthy,” by societal standards are necessary when trying to have a healthy diet. A diet deficient in fat is also unhealthy for you. The key is balance!
- It’s important to learn how to eat “junk food” appropriately from a young age so as not to grow up with distorted views of what food does to you.
- Diet and exercise are important, but overdoing it is just as bad, if not worse, than not doing enough exercise-just this month I fractured my ankle by over-exercising. People’s bodies can only take so much and I encourage each individual devise a healthy diet and exercise plan with his/her doctors. There is no reason to go it alone.
- And one of my biggest annoyances with the food clichés taught in school is that moderation implies eating less than what your body wants/needs. Instead, balance is the way to do it.
And seriously if I see one more eight year-old looking at nutrition facts to see how much fat she is consuming, I really might just scream! Schools’ jobs are to educate, not to promote disorders- except that is exactly what happens when they show films like “Supersize Me” in conjunction with nutrition units in health classes, and encourage books like Wintergirls for some “fun, summer reading.” Um, did I miss the memo that it’s better to be lying in a hospital bed with a feeding tube uncomfortably shoved up your nose and down into your stomach than to allow your body to be its natural shape?
At the end of the school day, I am left wondering are schools doing all they can to empower students, teach them how to fuel their bodies, and to love themselves, or, are they giving students the tools they need to have an eating disorder? I think it’s time the schools start teaching us to love ourselves as we are and reverse the inappropriate thoughts we kids are having. I encourage parents to get involved:
- Don’t let the schools take over your responsibilities as parents-teach your kids how to eat and exercise appropriately
- Look into your family history of psychological problems-often, but not always, there is a familial component to eating disorders. Previous family members with depression, drug abuse, etc. can often be linked to potential eating disorders in future generations. Find out what’s been happening over the past few generations and educate your children so they are prepared to fight back against their genetic predispositions.
- And take your kids out of the classes that you find inappropriate-I rarely sit through every class of the day due to how readily the inappropriate messages are being thrown around.
Schools and families need to work together to put a stop to the devastating universe of eating disorders.
So, what do you think? Thank you, Rebecca, for your perspective on school curriculum and eating disorders. Let’s get to talking– here– or on my Facebook page!
* Note: Book Rebecca Recommends? Goodbye Ed, Hello Me by Jenni Schaefer
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I want to stand up and applaud Rebecca – I don’t think I could have stated it any better! I know I hope to eventually get into schools to talk to young people re health, balance, body image, and eating disorders and I would choose Rebecca as a spokesperson along side me if I could!!! I have the same concerns with the “Obesity Crisis” because kids are learning these black & white statements too young! Parents are also unaware (not intentially of course!) of the concerns with B&W issues and may not be aware of risk factors for disordered eating, eating disorders, an unhealthy relationship with food, exercise, etc.
Rebecca speaks beyond her age and speaks wisely about the issues and concerns we should have with regards to children and teens and how we approach health and balance.
Kudos to Rebecca!!!! She is a fellow RecoveryWarrior and I applaud her for not only her own recovery, but for sharing her words of wisdom. I would LOVE to work with her in the future!!
I too have a major bone to pick with the obesity “epidemic” as people have started to call it. We are teaching people do NOT get fat or you’ll have TLC specials about how fat you are and that you can’t fit through your door frame. Be thin, thin, thin and everything will come easily to you. Just yesterday at the YMCA I belong to a mini-marathon was being conducted-and I saw way too many young children running in it. I feel like everyone is promoting health in a very strange and misrepresented way! I want people to be healthy and be able to exercise and eat in a balanced way. Unfortunately, when we are taught from a young age to exercise after eating big meals and feel guilty after eating the messages get mixed up and kids develop the wrong ideas.
Kendra, thank you so much for your kind words! I would certainly agree that I have some insight into the topic. Unfortunately, my insight has come because of years of struggle and as a result I want to help stop anyone and everyone from having to go through this or watch someone they love go through this. The number of eating disorders diagnosed, and the ones going undiagnosed, is reaching numbers way to high! We need to put a stop to it!
A great piece, thanx for sharing Rebecca’s story. The one item that stood out for me was:
Don’t let the schools take over your responsibilities as parents-teach your kids how to eat and exercise appropriately
I agree with the sentiment but the other side of the coin, I fear, is the more prevelent issue…
Parents, stop thinking of schools as the daytime babysitter – get involved and teach your kids how to eat and exercise appropriately.
Good point, Cooper. Parents DO need to get involved. Really, you and Rebecca are in agreement there, both saying, in some way, that the school can’t be the lead place/person to teach children how to eat and exercise. We can also be the ones who do it in a way that doesn’t cause alarm.
Thank you so much for writing this, Rebecca. What you’re describing really is far too common. So many schools have bought into the (*cough* wrong *cough*) idea that thinner = healthier and that eating less automatically means eating “better.” Their direct approach to teaching about eating disorders is equally problematic. I will never understand why people believe that detailing anorexic and bulimic rituals to at-risk populations will LESSEN the risk of them developing these conditions. I think schools (and other powerful institutions) could go a long way by teaching students how to listen to the unique messages THEY receive from their bodies about what that specific body needs. And by teaching them how to manage some of the complicated, painful emotional issues that lead to these conditions (rather than just saying what tactics we should “not” try).
That said, I want to reiterate how much I appreciate this post. As someone who straight-up left high school during my early recovery — (did the last 2+ years as a homebound student) — I have great respect for Rebecca’s commitment to staying and speaking up. It’s inspiring to see that we have students at this level calling foul. Keep up the great work, and let us know if there’s any way we can support it!
Thanks, Mary. I’ve discussed this particular issue at length with Rebecca. Some might assume that it would be “counter intuitive” to NOT talk about the rituals when teaching kids about the dangers of eating disorders– and then, after talking to those who are recovering from eating disorders, everything clears. Of course it doesn’t make sense to detail the rituals to an at-risk population! We do indeed need people like you, Rebecca, and Kendra (along with others) to talk about eating disorders from your perspectives so that teachers can understand what can be triggering and what would actually be helpful.
One of the things I really have gotten from you is the need for lessons around emotional intelligence. If we eat or don’t eat in response to our emotions– especially when we feel we just can’t talk about them, we create some big problems. We can not stifle teens. I’m so pleased that Rebecca has found her voice and is using it to speak up and educate people from her perspective.
Yes! This falls under the heading of emotional intelligence, somewhat… but I think it’s crucial to validate the problems students face. The stories I heard from the girls in my residential program were gut-wrenching, but it’s rare for schools to recognize how intense the problems are that their “kids” are juggling. They seem to think our biggest issues really are things like having our milk money stolen by the Class Bully, and that kind of thinking leaves kids/ teens isolated and trying to struggle alone with problems we don’t realize many others have. While you know that EDs, self-injury, and drugs, and all the other “don’ts” are ill-advised, they can end up seeming like the only options you have to cope. I don’t want to imply that EDs are a choice; obviously they’re more complicated than that… but since that’s the argument the schools are making — (”don’t do this; it’s bad for you; it’s a bad life choice”) — that’s the one I’m using to call them out.
Aha! Yes. That is a great point, Mary. It is very much handled in a “don’t do that” kind of a way. But what TO DO is not handled. What are the girls feeling? What triggers them? Are they feeling frustrated, isolated, misunderstood? Its not enough to tell someone it’s not good for your body or that it’s a bad choice since you don’t just wake up one day and say “I’m going to have an eating disorder today.” Girls need to understand the warning signs in their own minds and bodies and how they can cope with their feelings and their problems. There is clearly a lot to discuss– the problems run deep. What we see with our eyes is only the beginning. When the girl really opens up, we can see there is so much more.
Thank you for all the support Mary. I agree with so much of what you and Dr. Robyn are discussing here.
I’m unsure whether you read Dr. Robyn facebook post about a video my school health teacher showed us students about heroin addiction. If you haven’t seen that post you may be interested to read the responses she received about it. I’m still communicating with the school administration about this specific videos and the ones similar. TV + shock value = more viewers. School + schock value = wrongly informed students! Let’s rewrite this equation
Mary; It was a post on May 27th on my facebook fan page that read: DRUGS: I received this message from an informed teen today: “Please explain to me why a health teacher would consider showing a video of 6 people shooting up heroin and telling people how they get money to buy it as something educational.” Your thoughts? Is this the answer to drug education or is there a better way? (Comments follow…)
Having girls of my own and recovery from a battle with anorexia for 24 years, this subject hits home. Reently after sharing my story with a fairly new friend, I was stunned on how little the average person understands about eating disorders. With that said, we have allowed schools to take the lead in teaching our kids about “healthy” eating but clearly not educating them on the effects of the consequences if the subject isn’t completely understood. For me with a history of trauma and abuse, it took one statement to get my mind thinking about how weight, apperance and acceptance to begin me on a life destructive path. Teachers are not educated or educated enough on what healthy eatings is or eating disorders. I refuse to employ someone with little to no knowledge on a subject that can distory a life. I speak out against people who try to push their uneducated opinion on my girls. My girls fully know what balance looks like, the importance of moderation, and the ability to make wise choices. They understand there are no good/bad foods and they speak up against peers who struggle with body image that try to control it with food. The schools are trying to do right, yet are not educated on the complex issue they are dealing with. Too many school kids are serious issues that need help and they can easily fall into the ED trap with so much focus on this issue. Many already will they lack the capability to make wise decisions and when told they aren’t making wise food choices its just another slap in the face. I believe in educating children on healthy eating yet it doesn’t begin there..it begins with educating educators on the whole subject….
I have such a passion for this subject because the message being delivered to our kids is half truths which breed disorders..life threatening disorders!
That’s right Susan-let’s educate the educators. Why aren’t teachers getting degrees in psychology so they understand the impressionable minds they are molding everyday? Staff development days (or delayed openings in my school) can be put to good use-re-evaluate the messages the teachers are sending
What a passionate conversation. Susan, what a gift you are to your girls– though you had to go through so much heartache to be who you are. You girls are certainly benefiting from your experience. In my book, Good Girls Don’t Get Fat, which is due out in October, I have a whole chapter devoted to teachers– many who get it wrong and some who get it right. The differences are sometime subtle and sometimes quite blatant, but they are detectable either way by those who are sensitive to this topic. Unfortunately, many parents, too, make the same mistakes. There typically is no malice; teachers and parents want to do their best, but they DO need education in this area. Bravo to you for speaking up. I’m sure you’ll have something to say on Rebecca’s next article!