In honor of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, it’s important to reflect on how we got ourselves into such a pickle in the first place. I mean, during this week we are not just talking about those girls, women, boys, and men who have clinical eating disorders. We’re talking about the pervasive disordered eating that seems to be taking place in most households across the country—and in many countries around the world. Alas, it’s become “normal” to eat abnormally.
And it isn’t just about eating, is it? It’s also about talking. Fat talk is so much a part of our culture that the script is written.
“I’m so fat”
“No you’re not. I’m the fat one.”
It’s normal to talk abnormally about our bodies. To body bash. To body trash. Yup. Normal.
And clothes? Well, that’s just gotten completely messed up. With models getting fired for being a size 4 and popular designers declaring that “nobody wants to see curvy women” and fashion is about “fantasy” but only if you can fit into the clothes, it leaves everyone striving for zero. In a world where a size 4 is fat and fat is considered shameful, we all have a problem. We don’t even know what it means to feel OK with our bodies. We’re too focused on why our jeans don’t fit the way they do on the size 0 model.
As I’ve now talked to thousands of girls and women—and yes, some guys too, about how self esteem has somehow gotten so wrapped up with body appearance that the two are like conjoined twins that share vital connective tissue, I’m continually struck by how people weigh their worth. It’s become clear that there are many factors that have lent themselves to this decidedly complicated calculation that nevertheless, is being computed each day.
Dr. Robyn’s Body Net Worth Calculation
My Body’s “So-called” Net Worth=
What size I wear
(+) How much I’ve eaten
(+) the difference between my size and the size my friends wear
(+ or -) How fat/thin I think I look when I look in the mirror
(+ or -) What the important people in my life said about weight/size/looks
(+ or -) what media/models I’ve seen/absorbed today
(+ or -) what the unimportant people said or appear to have thought about how I look
(+ or -) the difference between what’s in/hot now and my body type’s ability to look good in it
(+ or -) what I weigh today as opposed to yesterday/last week/last year/when I was 16
(+) number of calories
(+ or -) amount of minutes on the treadmill/elliptical
(+ or -) where I am in my menstrual cycle
(+ ) the number of efforts I’ve made to get thinner recently (- the number times I’ve failed)
Yes, there may be more factors. But these are the ones I hear about the most. Isn’t that sad? What happened to self worth being made up of the amazing things we do, the people we affect, the love we feel, the contributions we make?
We’re nearing the end of National Eating Disorders Week. It’s time to separate these conjoined entities and allow our self worth to reflect the power, strength, character, and energy we bring to the table.
You are worthwhile. No calculation needed.
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Amen. In a society that values the outside more than the inside fueled by the incessant barrage of media brainwashing concerning image, how can we expect our fellow humans not to be effected?
There is a quirky web site called Awful Library Books that features titles that have been weeded out of library shelves for being out of date (or just plain silly). This one caught my eye. Thought you would be interested. It might make you spill your rice krispies, tho…