I was at the playground today with Tallie when I heard the words come from one mother who sat on the bench nearby. “Don’t get dirty, Hayley! You’ll ruin your outfit!” And so, there Hayley was, slowly swinging on the swing as she looked longingly at her brothers sliding down the slide, exploring the jungle gym pirate ship, and playing with dirt. Exactly where she wanted to be.
When I was little, I wanted to wear pants. I liked yellow and green the best and shunned anything pink since I never saw my brothers in it. I wanted to be like them and do everything they did so, NO PINK.
I’m now submerged in an amazing world in which we hail the counter-intuitive woman. Where, as Actionists(tm), we scream for equal justice and applaud our girls for being powerful in every single way possible. You can be anything. Want anything. Do anything. Set goals around anything. The glass ceiling is meant to be broken. Do it. But to embrace such a world and be a willing contributor, some might just assume; NO PINK. Pink reminds us of what we’ve been fighting against—the dainty, cutesy, plastic, toxic, infuriating and the woefully manufactured.
I get it. We tell our daughters not to confine themselves. They don’t need to be thin, pink-cheeked princesses who fit into little musical boxes, dancing in circles gracefully, gracefully, gracefully, but not charging towards anything. They don’t need to stuff themselves in inappropriate clothes that constrict, confine, sexualize, and rush them along to adulthood. There is more out there for them. So much more.
So am I to feel guilty when I dress my daughter, Tallie, in pink this day or that? Blue, red, black, are so much more powerful…
But here’s my admission. Pink, for me, is not a symbol of backwards thinking. I choose to redefine it. I do not dress my daughter in pink frilly dresses and white gloves and tell her not to touch—do—or work at anything. Now that would be backward thinking. On the days when she’s in pink, it is just as if she is in any color. She plays hard, digs her fingers into the dirt, and yes, occasionally, pulls out a worm. She does not sit idly by watching the world pass her by. She is an utterly submerged happy, active participant in her life. The juxtaposition of my blond, green eyed, grinning pigtail clad daughter in pink with filthy hands, knees, and face is a sight to behold. Girly never looked so good.
So I am taking back pink. I refuse to shrink away from it for fear that my child will be boxed in by it. To me, it seems all the more powerful to go ahead and wear the color—or any color for that matter– and redefine what it means to wear it well.
Girls can be, do, or dream up anything. The whole world is open. So Tallie has a pink fuzzy rabbit that she sleeps with but she also plays with trucks, blocks and books. She wears funny little hair bands and skirts but she also dons pants and sneakers. She can dance, sing, imagine, and play sports. And yes, sometimes, she wears pink from head to toe and plays in the dirt. She is everywhere on the continuum and does not need to conform to any one side. Pink–dirty–herself–on her own terms. Girly, tomboyish, everything, all rolled into one. To me, that’s the power of being a girl in 2010.
So, can my daughter wear pink and still play in the dirt? YES. SHE. CAN. Just watch her.
PS. Wear your Pants Day is June 11th! Show that your girls can wear their pants and be just as girly and amazing as they are everyday. Via New Moon Magazine.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!!!! I too didn’t like pink growing up but watching my 2nd cousin who is 4 – she loves ALL colors and gets down right dirty, plays hard and her best friend is a little boy her same age. Color is a color and she can and will wear ALL colors that she wants to and still dominate the world
Thank you for this! Great post
I was probably 8 or 9, my grandmother showed up at the lake for a family reunion. My sister and cousins and I were all in the lake swimming. We saw her pull up and kept swimming. She yelled “Grandma’s got gifts!” and out of the water we swarmed. As she handed out the Tshirts … some pink, some blue I watched her give my sister and the other girls a pink t shirt. When she got to me, she handed me one of the blue ones. I must have let my face show my disappointment. She scowled at me and scolded me, letting me know that I was getting blue, like the boys,because “you’ll just get it dirty anyway”
I was well into my 30’s (closer to 40) before I realized that pink was an ok color for me. Now I’m loving pink.
Totally LOVE this post. I have a 5yr old lil girl who LIVES in pink- most days from head to toe & by the end of the day she is as dirty as the rest of the lil boys at the playground. In our house the color pink is a sign of GIRL POWER. It’s girly. Feminine. Beautiful & STRONG.
Yes! LOVE this post! I also like the picture of the adorable & happy Tallie in pink digging in the dirt. Everyone has their own power color – it’s what you do with it that matters.
Thanks @Kendra, @Kelsie, @Lynnee, and @PeggiKaye. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be getting myself into trouble writing this post. I know that pink sometimes is associated with negative things when it comes to “empowerment.” I love it though– and as long as you don’t allow it to confine you, define you, by what advertisers would have you “be” and you allow yourself to be whatever you want whenever you want, I’m thinking that pink can be powerful.
Well…anyone would only have to take one look at my blog to know I believe exactly what you say here Robyn – “Pink, for me, is not a symbol of backwards thinking.” Praise you a hundred times over for this post. You are my shero for the month, even the year!
I was a farm raised girl who drove tractors, helped born calfs and lambs, mowed large expanses of lawn, played on the local football team, volunteered with the local fire authority, climbed trees until my knees bled and was dirty most of the time. I also happened to love pink and still, to this day, it is my favourite colour.
I have never seen my love of pink as something that defines me as girly and submissive. It is simply a colour I love, look great in and connect to, and while I don’t spend most of my days dirty anymore I am an independant, sassy and strong woman who believes she can achieve anything she can set her mind to. The fact I may wear a pink dress to work or jazz up my suit with a pair of pink dangly earrings makes absolutely no difference to that.
Here’s to all the girls and women of the world wearing and connecting with whatever colour they choose and doing whatever their heart desires along with it.
Wow, Julie! Sounds like you had an awesome childhood filled with adventure and endless possibilities. I imagine you had a supportive family that encouraged you to break down barriers and do whatever interested you. Go family!
Yes, as a fan of pink and an independent, sassy, strong woman myself, I know when when I see one. Glad to be in your company! Keep daring yourself and lead the way for girls to be whatever they want.