Let’s lay it on the table.
- Only 5 of the Fortune 500 Companies are lead by women
- Only 4 governors in the 50 States are women
- Only 17 senators of the 100 positions are women
And as we know, the world has its problems. So what if…girls ran the world? What if THESE girls ran the world?
Yesterday, after doing a taping for the CBS Early Show, I had the privilege of attending a panel at the Girl Scouts Headquarters on 5th Ave in NYC. The title of the panel? You guessed it. What if the Girls Ran the World?
Six Panelists. Many of them having received Girl Scouts’ highest honors. Gold awards for community service. Women of distinction awards for leadership and going the extra mile. Game changers. World travelers. Public speakers. Advocates. Girls who have testified in front of congress and changed laws. Girls who have taught games to orphans in 3rd world countries and devised programs with seniors with Alzheimer’s. Girls who have created non-profits, health programs, community rallies and…movement. These young women, in a word?
Exceptional.
But what if they weren’t?
What if, as they impressed upon us, society had just a little more faith in their young women? Perhaps these young women would be just a representative sample of the amazing kick-butt girls we had in our world who were lighting their communities on fire with projects, advocacy, action, and change? What if?
“People underestimate the power of youth. We may not have the same amount of experience as adults but the experience we DO have is unique to the culture of tomorrow.” –Vivian
The Biggest Issues They Highlighted:
The six young women outlined what they thought were the biggest issues and challenges facing girls today. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist (although there may be one coming up through this group) to tell us the theme that is emerging here:
- Girls feel that they can’t be who they really are and instead feel that they need to be what they are told to be.
- There is a marked emphasis on being skinny that makes it impossible for girls to embrace who they are.
- Girls are afraid to be their unique selves
- Girls feel that they need to “man up” to be cool instead of appreciating their differences.
- There are so many sexist jokes and ways to belittle women that girls’ self esteem is plummeting.
OK. So a lot of our girls feel like crap. Belittled. Under-estimated. Boxed-in.
“Media and pop culture tell us we need to be the Gossip Girl who is the popular, skinny, cute, rich, bubble head instead of taking all that we have and using it for good.” – Malia
They often don’t feel good enough, society tells them that they’re not good enough, and in turn, they feel that they’re not good enough again. And no wonder…there are so many negative messages that confirm it:
“Boys are better in math and science.”
“10 pounds to the new and better you!
“Boys don’t like smart girls.”
“Girls who speak up are bitchy.”
“Nobody wants to see curvy women.”
They are afraid to be who they truly are because they don’t know how their true selves will ever measure up to the standard of perfectionism put out there for girls. Trying to achieve that merely means trying to be less of themselves, yes. But what comes along with that is that we miss the opportunity to get to know each individual girl—all her strengths—her brain power—her contributions to our world. They are watered down, molded into plastic, and stuffed into a tight, uncomfortable, pretty box with a very distinct glass ceiling. So where does it leave us? What needs to change?
Perhaps it was best said by two of the Panelists. Vivian, a global teen citizen who organized her own relief efforts for children who were orphaned in China when the Earthquake hit in 2008 expressed;
“We need to step up and start fighting for what girls deserve, not what society dictates.”
We’re working on it girls. Head’s up, everyone. These girls represent the potential we have among our young women. It is now our responsibility to tell them that they’re worth it. That their value has nothing to do with their appearance and everything to do with their character, their inner beauty, their ideas, their effort, their heart, and the way they positively impact others. Gosh. If these girls are our future…we should consider ourselves blessed beyond compare.
“We must change the stigma that girls are not as good as the boys. This is our chance to shine. And if you allow us to…if you give us opportunity to…we will.” –Taylor, age 18
No doubt. And we’ll be psyched to bask in your light!
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you Dr. Silverman for publishing this blog. I am Taylor’s mother and I can’t begin to tell you how proud I am of each of the remarkable young women on this panel. They have shown us time and time again that they can think independently with strength and rationale. I believe we will see great things from them in the future. As Taylor said… this is their time to shine.
I commend the Girl Scout organization and the Girl Scout leaders that have encouraged them to be the best that they can possibly be. My favorite quote is “It takes a great leader to teach a girl NOT to follow.” (author unknown) These 6 girls are obviously not followers. Our world would be in great hands with them running it.
Thank you, Kathey, for so kindly writing and responding to the article. I had such a profound reaction to your daughter, Taylor, and the other young women due to their obvious charisma and passion for their causes.
As I explained during the Panel discussion, I have a book coming out October 1 called Good Girls Don’t Get Fat, which is all about the negative messages girls receive to look “thin” and how they react to those negative messages. One of my final chapters called “Kiss My Assets” describes those girls who beat the odds and are able to thrive in a world that values thinness. One of the women highlighted in that chapter is Connie Lindsey, The National Board President of the Girl Scouts. She talks all about the social support that the Girls Scouts provided her, along with other key people in her life. Social support was an asset for her– which in turn brought out other assets like her voice and ability to reach and teach others.
I believe your daughter has many gifts. She walked right up to me with determination and introduced herself. Taylor was so passionate about her chosen field and I imagine that her passion will translate to other girls who will recognize STEM as a terrific path. I was telling my husband all about Taylor and how inspirational she was during the Panel. And yes, she clearly SHINES!
Dr. Robyn,
If you can, please thank these girls for all that they are and for all that they envision becoming! They are the role-models for my 13 yr. old, whom I have always told, “You can do, be, become and shine at ANYTHING you want!”
“Be a girl and stand proud in your girlhood…and then set out to live your dreams!”
Wendy @Kidlutions
Oh, Wendy, don’t I know it! These young women were AMAZING. I have not stopped talking about them. They really knocked my socks off. They were so eloquent– spoke like 30 year olds…no, better than 30 year olds. So confident and polished yet so real and down to earth. My goal is to surround my daughter with role models such as these. They show all things are possible– at any age– and we have a thing or two to learn from young women if we’d all stop and listen. What a pleasure.
By the way, KUDOS to you for being such a great Mom. Your daughter is blessed to have you as a positive force in her life.
Yes, yes, yes!! These girls are speaking truth and there are many things that we can learn from them. And there are many things we can teach them and help them with. Together as allies, girls and women can make more change than we can when we’re split apart. When we women listen to girls we also reconnect with our own Inner Girl and her idealism and dreams – it’s good for everyone!
Hi Dr. Robyn,
I just saw your tweet linking to your blog and I’m so thrilled I did! Over the last few years, I have met and interviewed so many amazing, butt-kicking girls and women of all ages who are doing such wonderful things to make our world better. Every single one has inspired me, and I agree with you – they are exceptional but they are not unique. Every day, millions of girls and women do millions of amazing things to make a difference, some in parts of the planet where it’s not easy being a woman. We women rock. It’s my hope that women everywhere learn to easily honor and recognize that quality within themselves, because I think when we do so, the world will follow suit!
Thanks again for you great post!
Shelly Rachanow,
author, If Women Ran the World, Sh*t Would Get Done and What Would You Do if YOU Ran the World?
Dr. Robyn,
Came across your post via twitter and I couldn’t agree more. As a father of a soon-to-be 13-year-old girl, it is so important to instill self-esteem in our young girls. In the same ways that society, TV (and Middle School!) puts pressure on young boys to get laid in order to be cool; young girls are getting a similarly confusing message. I think a father plays a huge role in empowering their daughters to see beyond the shadows and grasp the substance; that which really matters. So to all the fathers out there: Don’t let your daughters grow up to be cowgirls, let them know they can own the ranch!
Here’s my little on in action: http://bit.ly/dhNRFw Enjoy!
Dr. Robyn,
As a Girl Scout leader myself, I am always excited to see the Girl Scouts in the media! Our community tends to praise Boy Scouts who have earned their Eagle Award (as they should!), but so many of our girls don’t get the recognition they deserve when they’ve earned thier Gold award. The majority of our girls this age drop out of Girl Scouts before they earn their Gold Award. Our council has researched this problem and it the biggest reason is because of peer pressure. Girl Scouts are no longer “cool” around middle school. I would LOVE to have a hard copy of this article to give to my parents. We need to remember to encourage our young ladies to follow THEIR dreams and not those of the crowd. These girls are awesome and it’s young ladies like this that inspire me to become a better leader by allowing my girls to lead!
Thank you!
Though I ‘tweeted’ this and forwarded it to Global Womens’ Leadership Network and all of The Girl Effect tribe, I’m belated in leaving a comment with a great big woohoo to the girls for their insights and erudite expression.
Also, in conjunction with the femme forward folks, I want to tip my hat to the fabulous work being done at The Good Men Project which redefines masculinity to enable this kind of worldview cyclebreaking and mass media mindshifting!
Kudos to all…
Amy
@ShapingYouth
Hi Dr. Silverman and all who commented:
My name is Vivian, and I was on the panel. I want to thank you for being so supportive of girl empowerment!! It is such an important cause, and it feels great to hear so many affirmations.
I find myself continually inspired by what other girls around the world are doing. Y chromosomes are so overrated!! We women and girls are more powerful than we know! I thank Girl Scouts everyday for the opportunities it has brought me, and I hope other girls will allow it to open doors for them too.
And to Dr. Silverman: Thank you so much for coming to watch our panel!
Keep inspiring,
Vivian
P.S. The full panel discussion can be viewed at http://www.ustream.tv/channel/what-if-girls-ran-the-world . Enjoy!