We ended last week in a media storm. We were dealing with the backlash, well, mostly, stemming from watching several extremely talented 7-8 year old girls in a youtube video dancing to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” in skimpy belly-bearing costumes gyrating on stage. We discussed it on my Facebook Fan Page and differing opinions came out. We heard it on the news, and yes again, different opinions came out. So, I thought I might take a moment to answer some of the points that were brought up by folks, including the girls parents, who felt that no wrong had been done. Let’s look the problem in the face.
“But they want to do it:” Of course they do. The celebrities are doing it. Their teacher, who they likely respect and idolize, has taught it to them. Everyone is clapping, laughing, and screaming for them. Yes, yes, of course they want to do it. Children want to do things that have rewards. The whole idea behind rewards is when you use them, children want to do more of the behavior that gets them those rewards. While a child shouldn’t be punished for displaying a behavior that they have been carefully taught, adults need to step back and say, “should this behavior be rewarded?” If not, and I hope it’s no, parents need to take steps to explain why the behavior is inappropriate, apologize if you made a mistake and had a part in it, and let them know what behaviors are appropriate.
“What harm can it really do?” There are have been numerous studies that have shown that sexualizing girls at an early age may lead to major problems. According to the large-scale APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls, sexualizing girls may lead to:
- Self objectification (such that they evaluate their own bodies in terms of sexual desirability rather than their own desires, health, achievements and competence).
- Acceptance of more sexualized images: Because they are trying to figure out their identity and tend to be more elastic in trying on different “hats” or “masks” as they’ve been called, the girls may be more accepting of sexualized messages and internalize them as part of their identity.
- Too much attention paid to the physical: When girls spend so much time focusing on how they look, they spend less time focusing on their mental and physical activities.
- Poor body image: When girls are sexualized early, it undermines how they feel about their bodies which can lead to poor self worth, shame, anxiety, and disgust with oneself.
- Eating issues and poor mental health: Sexualization has been correlated with depression, eating disorders, and low self esteem.
There are more consequences—but we don’t have all day.
“But they are so talented.” Yup. They sure are. There is no dispute that these girls can rock the stage. But, talented or not, gyrating on stage in little dinky outfits is not age-appropriate. One commenter, Manny Cabrera III, who is also a martial arts school owner in Florida mentioned:
“they expressed more skill when they we’re doing the kick spins to a controlled verticle leg hold than … shaking their tushes in a way that you really only see rap video vixens dance.”
“It’s what is expected:” A dangerous road. The last time I used the excuse with my Mom “but everyone is doing it,” it didn’t go over all too well. But this was the excuse given by one set of parents on Good Morning America who felt that these kinds of costumes and these kinds of dance moves are customary in the dance world among this age group. But what lesson does this teach our daughters? If “everyone” is doing it, that makes it OK? Good luck when they become teenagers.
Along these same lines is pointing the finger at other activities that ask the girls to take on sexualized movements as a typical part of choreography—or to point to other sports to explain away the skimpy outfits. But…Cheerleading! But…Swimming! Or how about that martial arts teaches self defense and that isn’t always safe…right? Oy. Yes, some cheerleading squads do use sexualized routines for little girls. Nope, don’t think those are right either. Swimming? Do we really need to go there? Swimmers are swimming in the water. They are not wiggling it on stage. There is nothing particularly sexual about doing the backstroke. And martial arts. Well, when you teach children martial arts there is a safe time, place, and way to use it. As I said on my Facebook Fan Page, there is no safe time, place, or way when it comes to sexualizing children. And yes, putting them in skimpy outfits while they are doing it does make the whole thing seem worse.
I would like to be very clear here. Teaching children to dance early is NOT the same as teaching children to dance sexually. There is no dispute about whether the girls should have been taught to dance. Little girls should be taught to dance in age-appropriate ways. THERE IS NO SAFE TIME OR SAFE PLACE TO TEACH A LITTLE GIRL HOW TO DANCE IN A SEXUALLY EXPLICIT WAY.
Many of you chimed in to underscore that this was not an issue of context—it was of content—whether it was on a dance competition stage or elsewhere. According to Amy Jussel of Shaping Youth, who commented on my FanPage:
Even if you argued ‘context’ in terms of the dancing skill (e.g. highly costumed/attn getting competition/showcasing performances etc.) we must remind ourselves that the ‘content’ is no longer living in that silo. When digitally broadcast into mass media (YouTube, HuffPo, GMA whatevah) it leads to further ’shock & awe’ sensationalism/moral outrage &/or social norming, desensitization of sexualization, age compression cues etc. depending on who’s doing the loudest shouting. Reminder: We are living in a ’surround sound’ culture. NO ONE can simply play the ‘it’s no big deal it was just a dance number’ card…because “context” and “content” are now often interchangeable. To me, this is a public health & children’s rights issue. Period.
In a world that screams “top that!” I have to wonder, if this is what the girls are doing at age 7 or 8, what in the world must be prepare ourselves to witness when they turn 15? And how must parents prepare their own girls who may be entering dance—shall we just expect that this is the way it is? In the end, it is the parents who make the decision. It is the same type of decision we asked for when Miley Cyrus was photographed wearing nothing but a sheet. It is the same type of decision we ask for as companies come out with thongs for 6 year olds and fishnet stockings. Parents, society is screaming, “take it off,” “shake it,” “show me more,” it is you who must emphatically yell back, with no exception, “no.”
Your thoughts?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
To all the people who are offended by these dancers, what disturbs you is not what they look like or how they’re dancing, it’s what’s going through your head while you’re watching them. “OMG! they’re so sexy, it’s disturbing!” Yeah, you must be pretty disturbed if you think they’re sexy. Someone with a pure mind wouldn’t see anything inappropriate about them. All I see are a bunch of really talented girls doing something they love and having fun. And more importantly, that is also how they see themselves. Don’t force your twisted and sex obsessed adult-view onto them just because you’re disturbed. If they had grown up in Spain or Brazil this wouldn’t even be an issue. Just watch any Maria Isabel video if you don’t believe me.
There are more than 40 comments on this topic on my FB fan page; From Denise, specifically: My response to the above comment, “OMG they’re so sexy, its disturbing” is that obviously these are the exact thoughts of the person who wrote this in your blog. He or she is clearly projecting their private thoughts onto the public opinion to gain attention. Enough said.”
Please see the large number of other comments on this topic on my FB fan page http://www.facebook.com/DrRobynSilverman and look for conversations between May 14th and 18th of 2010. Fascinating stuff.
I don’t do Facebook but I read it and I agree mostly with what Araje L’Bert said. Especially that part where he said that it’s our society that is turning this into more than it is. If the video is so offensive then why were so many news organizations so quick to play it? It was the media that made it go viral by bringing attention to it.
To Denise who said, “He or she is clearly projecting their private thoughts onto the public opinion to gain attention,” she’s got it completely backwards. My own personal thoughts are that it was just an innocent video of a group of girls dancing and having fun. I didn’t see anything inappropriate about it. EVERYONE ELSE is saying that it is disturbing. Only someone who is turned on by the flesh of little girls would find them sexy. Is it just a coincidence that all their parents and teachers, the other teams and everyone in the whole audience at that competition were cheering ecstatically throughout the entire performance? Are they ALL crazy?
I really agree with the father of one of the girls who said it was taken completely out of context. They were at a major urban dance competition wearing typical dance costumes and the fact that most people are surprised to find out what a typical dance costume looks like doesn’t MAKE them inappropriate. They wouldn’t wear those clothes to school or to church. And if the amount of skin is what’s bothering you then you would also want to ban all bikinis for little girls.
ForAnAngel – you don’t get it. It’s not what the viewers think…it’s what these girls think. At such an impressionable age, they are being told that it is perfectly acceptable to slink around half naked on stage with people cheering you on. I’d love to do a long term study to see how these girls progress. Will some come away unscathed? Possibly. Will some, sadly, end up dancing at strip bars? Possibly. A LOT depends on PARENTAL direction. These girls do not have the emotional or intellectual capacity to make decisions that may have long term consequences. That’s why kids stay with their parents until young adulthood. If the parents have a skewed view of what is age appropriate, so will the kids.
and since when do kids get everything they want? oh, right. the parents that give up all their power and control to their children….