In honor of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, it’s important to reflect on how we got ourselves into such a pickle in the first place.  I mean, during this week we are not just talking about those girls, women, boys, and men who have clinical eating disorders. We’re talking about the pervasive disordered eating that seems to be taking place in most households across the country—and in many countries around the world. Alas, it’s become “normal” to eat abnormally.

And it isn’t just about eating, is it? It’s also about talking. Fat talk is so much a part of our culture that the script is written.

“I’m so fat”

“No you’re not. I’m the fat one.”

It’s normal to talk abnormally about our bodies. To body bash. To body trash.  Yup. Normal.

And clothes? Well, that’s just gotten completely messed up. With models getting fired for being a size 4 and popular designers declaring that “nobody wants to see curvy women” and fashion is about “fantasy” but only if you can fit into the clothes, it leaves everyone striving for zero.  In a world where a size 4 is fat and fat is considered shameful, we all have a problem. We don’t even know what it means to feel OK with our bodies. We’re too focused on why our jeans don’t fit the way they do on the size 0 model.

As I’ve now talked to thousands of girls and women—and yes, some guys too, about how self esteem has somehow gotten so wrapped up with body appearance that the two are like conjoined twins that share vital connective tissue, I’m continually struck by how people weigh their worth. It’s become clear that there are many factors that have lent themselves to this decidedly complicated calculation that nevertheless, is being computed each day.

Dr. Robyn’s Body Net Worth Calculation

My Body’s “So-called” Net Worth=

What size I wear

(+) How much I’ve eaten

(+) the difference between my size and the size my friends wear

(+ or -) How fat/thin I think I look when I look in the mirror

(+ or -) What the important people in my life said about weight/size/looks

(+ or -) what media/models I’ve seen/absorbed today

(+ or -) what the unimportant people said or appear to have thought about how I look

(+ or -) the difference between what’s in/hot now and my body type’s ability to look good in it

(+ or -) what I weigh today as opposed to yesterday/last week/last year/when I was 16

(+) number of calories

(+ or -) amount of minutes on the treadmill/elliptical

(+ or -) where I am in my menstrual cycle

(+ ) the number of efforts I’ve made to get thinner recently (- the number times I’ve failed)

Yes, there may be more factors. But these are the ones I hear about the most. Isn’t that sad? What happened to self worth being made up of the amazing things we do, the people we affect, the love we feel, the contributions we make?

We’re nearing the end of National Eating Disorders Week. It’s time to separate these conjoined entities and allow our self worth to reflect the power, strength, character, and energy we bring to the table.

You are worthwhile. No calculation needed.

A National Study released by Girl Scouts of the USA tells us that 9 out of 10 girls say that the fashion industry is at least partially responsible for girls’ obsession with being skinny today.

In this nationwide study called “Beauty Redefined,” more than 1000 girls ages 13-17 were surveyed. Would you like to hear a recipe for low body esteem?

• 89% say that fashion/media puts a lot of pressure on girls to be thin.
• 3 out of 4 girls say fashion is very important to them.

Hmmmm. They feel the pressure of he media but also hold fashion and media in high regard– voila!

But media is just trying to make a buck, you say? But according to the girls…

• 81% of girls would like to see “real” images that are not digitally altered or enhanced.
• 75% say they would be MORE like to buy clothes they see on real-size models than on women who are super skinny.

But is it REALLY making a big impact?

• 42% of girls admit that they know someone their age that has thrown up after eating
• 37% say they know at least one person their age that has an eating disorder

Are we really going to allow the media and fashion to determine our girls’ self esteem? We could close our eyes and hope that it’ll just get better on its own– but we all know how that would work out.  I have to wonder why some of the European countries are making changes in the modeling/fashion world but America is just simply letting it run a muck. We clearly have the research. Where is the action???

Johnny Rock // Body Image Project // Review from Body Image Project

Studies show us that more and more, boys and men are suffering from poor body image.  Girls and women are no longer the only ones who are embarrassed, frustrated, disgusted, or dissatisfied with their physiques.  Research tells us that boys are increasingly worried about looking muscular enough to be acceptable. I speak more about it here, along with Shaping Youth collaborator, Amy Jussel.

How can we help boys and men feel good enough?

It turns out that Fashion Week may actually be reflecting what we’ve known all along: Not all girls and women are a size 0. Some catwalks, while still filled with the tiniest models, are more readily exploring the use of more full-figured gals.  By full-figured, I mean, size 12.

So, I ask you, is it enough? Can we applaud the use of a few models who are not quite the size of the average woman (size 14), but darn close?  It’s certainly a step in the right direction– away from any fat is bad, bad, bad!

It has been said that fashion is about fantasy and nobody, apparently, wanted to see curvy women, out in public or in their dreams. Ack. Hogwash.

But even if some who are delusional do indeed believe that we all want to look like coat hangers when we close our eyes and put our heads down on the pillow at night, there is no denying that we DO need to actually be able to wear the clothes.  Fantasy is great as long as it’s wearable.

Any woman should be able to look at a fashion spread and think, well, if I had a hair stylist, a make-up artist and…THAT DRESS, I’d look that good too.  Perhaps seeing women who are nearing the average size of a woman, allows that to happen.  That’s not just good for those selling the clothes…it does wonders for our body image.  I would actually state that it allows fantasy to actually take place.  Otherwise, it’s all about– that woman- not about the one standing in the mirror.

What kind of fantasy is that????

So, what’s the verdict about plus-size models and fashion week?

Finally?

No big deal?

Not really plus sized?

Let’s discuss here or on my Facebook Fan page.  I’d love to know what you think.

You are what you watch.

UCLA School of Public Health released a study this month providing additional details to the link between television viewing and childhood obesity. It demonstrates that the link is not all about the amount of TV watched, but rather, the number of junkfood commercials witnessed by the viewer over time.

Who? Researchers Frederick J. Zimmerman and Janice F Bell of UCLA School of Public Health

Participants: Primary Caregivers of over 3500 children between the ages of 0 and 12 years.

What did they do? Kept a journal of their children’s activities, including TV viewing, throughout the week as well as the format of that media delivery– regular TV programs, DVDs/Videos, educational or entertainment. The study started in 1997 and a follow up was conducted in 2002. The analysis controlled for physical activity, gender, age, race/ethnicity, mother’s BMI, education and sleep time to assure that the results were due to the TV watching rather than these other factors.

What interesting things did they find?

1. Commercial viewing was significantly associated with higher BMI. The effect was stronger for children younger than 7 than those who were older than 7 years of age.
2. Non-commercial watching, such as watching DVDs or watching educational programming was not associated with childhood obesity.
3. The association between TV viewing an childhood obesity is directly related to our children’s exposure to food-related commercials that advertise unhealthy options for children.

So what?

The big “so whats” are these:

1. By the time a kid is 5 years old, they’ve seen more than 4,000 TV commercials annually that advertise food.
2. On Saturday mornings, during your kid’s cartoon watching, they see an average of 1 food commercial EVERY 5 MINUTES.
3. Of those commercials, MOST– up to 95%– are for unhealthy foods that have poor nutritional value, namely, salty foods, sugary foods, fast foods, soda and other high-sugar drinks. Advertisers use a variety of tactics to entice children into desiring and consuming those foods– specifically “packaged” for boys and girls. Commercialism challenges children’s self control.

Conclusion: The researchers conclude that there really is an easy switch for the avid TV watcher.  If your children are going to watch TV, have them watch high-quality educational TV without all those commercials that push unhealthy eating and unhealthy foods. You will likely be saving them from a host of health problems.

One thing Dr. Robyn wished they revealed: The link between these unhealthy toxic commercials and the actual health of the children rather than simply the weight correlation. I would wonder how the effects are playing out in blood sugar levels, blood pressure, etc. My guess is that the issue is far worse than it sounds here– obesity is only one possible link– what about the naturally thin kids who are watching all those toxic commercials? Surely they are suffering in health as well.  We must send the message that these commercials aren’t good for anyone and can poison our children’s overall health, not just their weight.

Underwear from American Apparel…$24

Elmo shirt from American Apparel…$14

Saving your daughter from being sexualized by American Apparel? Priceless.

I want you to think about a tween or teen girl that you love.  Your daughter. Your niece. Your best friend’s little girl.  She’s a good person, isn’t she? She has a lot to offer.  She’s probably pretty talented, and smart, and interesting.  Maybe she’s generous, a good athlete, musical, or has a knack with animals or kids.  She has assets.  Oh yes, she does. And yet, there are corporations that are telling our teens that their assets are not in their brain, or their heart– but…in their pants.

Welcome to American Apparel’s rock bottom contest– or as they call it, “the search for the best bottom in the world.” Yes, on the same website where you would find Sesame Street Clothes for your favorite girl, you can also find an ever changing array of bottoms flashed in your face.  Stock photos? Nope. In an unfortunate, disgusting, and sadly, successful attempt to invite girls to exploit themselves, AA has already received numerous photo submissions that are prominently displayed on their website for all to see. Yuck.

So, Hardy Girls, Healthy Women (HGHW), is organizing a GirlCott.  Want to join in? Sign your name here. And, send a letter like this one provided by HGHW to American Apparel:

Joseph Teklits and Jean Fontana, Corporate Relations
Dov Charney, CEO, American Apparel
747 Warehouse St.
Los Angeles, CA 90021

Dear American Apparel:

The sexualization of women and porn-inspired media have infiltrated the everyday culture of the youngest girls.

According to the 2007 APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls in Media, the negative impact on girls and women is indisputable: the sexualization and objectification of girls and women in media wreak havoc on our psychological, emotional, cognitive and relational lives.

Your recent campaign is a perfect example of the insidious ways marketers and media promote sexualization and body obsession as “girl power.” American Apparel is directly and unconscionably undermining girls’ healthy development by equating confidence with looking sexy, winning with being judged on their appearance, and personal value with 15 seconds of fame.

The objectification of girls’ and women’s bodies is a real concern in a country where 1 in 4 women is a victim of violence, and sexual harassment is rampant. This ad campaign invites girls to self-objectify, inviting girls to post pictures of just one body part, and inviting others to comment and rate it is demeaning and dangerous.

By launching this campaign at a time when sexting is in the headline news, American Apparel is literally placing girls in jeopardy of prosecution by inviting them to post highly sexualized images of themselves online.

Don’t insult us with the usual defense: this is not real girl power; this is not just girls feeling good, making choices or feeling confident in their bodies. American Apparel is selling girls for parts, and we’re not buying. –HGHW”

Let’s join HGHW and remind our girls that they are more than a sum of their parts.  Let’s remind them that their best assets don’t get shoved into a thong and displayed on a corporate website.  Come on girls; you are worth more than that. Let’s all get together and tell American Apparel now and tell them loud; Kiss My Assets! And show them what you’re REALLY made of…

Oh boy. Hold onto your body image! Considering the dreadful body image people already are coping with in America and in many western nations, we are no stranger to seeing skinny people think they’re fat.  Now the Mayo clinic is confirming our fears– you can be skinny and fat at the same time.

A new report from the Mayo Clinic, which looked at data from 6,100 patients, warns that as many as 30 million Americans are skinny yet, somehow, still fat. (Aol news)

What is that supposed to mean? Well, it turns out that just looking thin is not the end all be all.  You still need to exercise and take care of yourself. According to the study, even thin people can end up with a lot of fat around their organs– fat that is dangerous to our health.

Put simply, the “skinny-fat” phenomenon occurs when someone has a normal body weight but a high percentage of body fat. Experts have dubbed the problem “normal weight obesity” and warn that it can accompany a host of health risks, mostly the same ones plaguing the obese and overweight: diabetes, metabolic syndrome, high cholesterol and high blood pressure. (Aol news)

So this makes me wonder, is there such thing as “Fat-Skinny?” I mean, can a person appear fat but actually be healthy? If we are saying that a person can look skinny but actually harbor have a large amount of hidden fat, can the inverse be true?

I guess Mom was right. You really can’t judge a book by its cover.

People love to talk. Blah, blah, blah.  When it comes to body image, weight, size, obesity, waify models and women, everything gets lumped up together into a convenient black and white argument where fat is bad and thin is good. Ridiculous.

Thank you, Kyle Smith, of the New York Post,  for writing another article to fuel the “fat is bad” argument that drives girls towards eating disorders and eating disordered behavior. Joining the ranks of stupid things people say within this realm, along with Louboutin, Karl Lagerfeld,  etc, I find a number of things questionable:

“There are a lot more women “suffering from” obesity, which is prevalent in practically every demographic group, than anorexia, a scourge of school-aged upper-middle-class white girls”

Well, if that was the only comparison…

It’s not just about anorexia, is it? There are countless girls suffering from subclinical eating disorders, hating their bodies for betraying them—not conforming to the size 0 image depicted in fashion magazines. There are many girls from all different walks of life—of every size and color—thinking they aren’t thin enough, not good enough to be acceptable, to fit in, to be loved, to be worth something. It’s not just anorexia. It’s not just upper-middle-class white girls. It’s everyone.

“Tolerance is the enemy of shame. With more and more fat acceptance — like that encouraged by V — there will be more and more fat people.”

Interesting. Let’s change the argument from weight to race. Or gender. So by being tolerant of others who are different from ourselves, we sacrifice…shame? Well we certainly wouldn’t want to do THAT, would we? Shame is such a dishy commodity that allows for degradation and self loathing. So, we are again proposing to shame people into being thin? Lord in heaven, can anyone give a less overused and ugly solution?

And this morally bankrupt argument was punctuated by this self-righteous argument:

“If we can’t make them feel shame in this country, then maybe skinny models are our last resort.”

Look; I don’t much care what you weigh—or what the people in your family weigh. What I do care about is the blatant disregard for moral judgment of oneself in favor of wanton judgment of others. It’s so tiresome. I vote that we all get a grip and make a New Year’s Resolution to stop tearing down others and start working on repairing our own moral fibers. Can we commit? If so, perhaps we can leave a legacy that is less about finger pointing and shaming—and more about acceptance and…dare I say it…tolerance for differences.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder…accept when it comes to weight. Where do girls get the silly notion that gaining weight means they are ugly and will be excluded? Hmmmm. Well, as we are working to try and help our daughters understand that:

(1) Beauty comes from within

(2) Don’t judge a book by it’s cover

(3) You don’t have to be stick thin to be beautiful

a dating website for the elite and beautiful have banned over 5000 members for putting on weight this holiday season and becoming too “ugly” to be included in the on line clique. Yup– booted off the island and into loserville. No wonder the body image of girls is getting worse and worse.

Think they feel bad?

“Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.” — Robert Hintze, founder of BeautifulPeople.com.

Gosh, well thanks for explaining. This sounds a lot like pledging a sorority.

Other members were outraged. No, not that people were expelled due to weight– that these “fatties” were even on the site- clearly illustrating the notion that to be beautiful, you must be thin.

But don’t worry, after their fat has been circled and they have been publicly ridiculed and shamed, they can actually reapply and be voted back in! Well, thank goodness for that.

“We responded to complaints by moving the newly chubby members back to the rating stage. This is the same as having them re-apply,”

This site loves it’s elitist standards.  They find no fault in it. They are simply responding to what their members want.

“Is it elitist? Yes, it is, because our members want it to be.  Is it lookist? Yes, it is, because our members want it to be. Is it PC? No, it’s not, but it’s honest.”

Thank you so much for again underscoring the message that gaining pounds means you are now ugly. Our girls really needed that cleared up. Let the eating disorders and unhealthy dieting begin! Well, at least we’ll be beautiful…

NOTE: Do you think these members should have been booted out of the dating website? What’s your take? Answer here or on my FaceBook Fan site!

Children are watching and listening! How well did we do this year? Oy. Not so good.

Well, this list was inspired by one of the comments I recently got on an article I wrote ages ago on Selma Blair and her interest in dropping acid. The commenter, identified as Peter wrote: “I think that dropping some pounds can increase fat girls self esteem.” Well, thank you, Peter, perhaps you can join the running for this year’s “dumbest things people said in 2009.” But I have to warn you, you have some stiff competition.

(11) “He says he was hiding in the attic.” (Richard Heene) Remember Balloon Boy? Good times. The family claimed their son Falcon was taking a joy ride in a mylar balloon when really the boy was playing in the attic. The whole thing turned out to be a hoax. Children learn that it’s OK to make the authorities chase their tail…er…their balloons…for hours…if a potential reality show is on the line.

(10) “Doing God’s Work”. (Lloyd Blankfein). I had no idea God was so into banking– and hoarding up $20 billion dollars in bonus money for top executives! My goodness, religious schools are SO behind the times. Children should learn early that sometimes, a devil is working in God’s clothing.

(9) “Imma let you finish”. (Kanye West). How kind of Kanye West to take that very “heavy” microphone away from Miss Swift at the VMA Music Awards! A gentleman! And even kinder that he would pass back the microphone after ruining her speech for Best Female Video.As millions of kids looked on, Kanye Swiftly showed them how impulse control and manners are not necessary if you really want to say something.

(8) “He found her ankles were too fat.” (Christian Louboutin spokesperson). Yes, of course Barbie has cankles– something I recognized as a wee girl. Ugh. Statements like this teach our little girls that even “perfect” female forms in plastic can be considered too fat and need plastic surgery to fix what’s so very, very wrong.

(7) “Her choice to wear shorts is being highly criticized by some members of the media and the public.” (The Examiner). Not sure who said it or why, but some people may or may not have been outraged by Michelle Obama’s tryst with wearing *gasp* shorts. If they really weren’t outraged, then the public was taken for a ride, and if they really were– then everyone really just needs to get a grip. August is hot. The Grand Canyon is dusty. What do you want her to wear? A ball gown? Children learn that when you are in the public eye and news is slow, people should make snarky comments about women’s bodies and what they are wearing– even if nobody is really saying anything of significance at all.

(6) “This is a really good statement here. Marshall and I, we own a record company called… tell him” (Joe Jackson). Yes, 3 days after his son, King of Pop, Micheal Jackson died, Joe Jackson was making a statement…about his record company. Classy. Mr. Jackson teaches our children that grief is short but PR opportunities after a son’s death are priceless.

(5) “I mean, I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet, and they never got paid for it?” (Jon Gosselin).  I know. Does this guy really need any more publicity? Nope. But here he is. He said lots of stupid things in the past, no doubt, but this one struck me as particularly poorly said. If he really thought he was “putting his kids out there” for “pedophiles” and all that was needed to justify it was getting “paid” what kind of father does that make him? Fans of the show learn that it’s OK to feel as though you are whoring out your children if you are indeed being paid well for it.

(4) “Nothing tastes as good as feeling skinny feels” (Kate Moss). Spoken like someone who’s never had a really dense chocolate torte or a great slice of pizza from Star Tavern in NJ. Whatever. I mean, what’s probably worse than this statement from the waify model is that some people actually believe that she is an actual “role model to millions of girls and young women.” (Even if way too many girls look up to her because of her extremely low body fat…a role model? God help us all.)

(3) “They should see it like a weekend of camping:” (Silvio Berlusconi). Lost in translation? I should hope so…but don’t think so. A very helpful and compassionate quip  from the Italian Prime Minister in a poor attempt to comfort the 17,000 people made homeless by the April Earthquake? I should think not. Trauma reduced to reality drama only works on shows like the The Amazing Race…and yet, tells our children that thousands of homeless people is something to make light of if you’re in a leadership position.

(2) “Nobody wants to see curvy women.” (Karl Lagerfeld). Who wants to see women with curves when we can watch gals with impossibly long legs and waists the size of heads walking down the runway? Women love to feel ashamed of their bodies! And we also love to look at clothes that won’t fit anyone who isn’t a size 0. Yes, tons of fun. We wouldn’t want to disrupt the illusion and guilt that comes with fashion. What do our children learn? Exactly what the quote says.

(1) “Keep F—-n that chicken” (Ernie Anastos). Ahh, the news. Powerful Words indeed. Trustworthy and informative. And yet, when one anchor man banters back and forth with the weather man and quips something so out of left field and completely inappropriate as his coanchor looks on in horror, what to do? Parents can rest assured that the news not only provides the top stories of the day but also a vocabulary lesson from the Urban Dictionary. Oh, we are thrilled that our children can repeat that in school the next day…and bring their expanded vocabulary into the New Year.

Yes, I know there are more. Many more. Please add your “Dumbest Things People Said” here or on my fan page on Facebook. Would love to hear!