Comments on: “You’re Bothering Other People!” 10 Ways to Teach Children How to Act in Public http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/%e2%80%9cyou%e2%80%99re-bothering-other-people%e2%80%9d-10-ways-to-teach-children-how-to-act-in-public/ The Official Blog of Dr. Robyn Silverman Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:00:57 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 hourly 1 By: My Child is Stealing! Dr. Robyn Talks about Trustworthiness « Dr. Robyn Silverman’s Blog http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/%e2%80%9cyou%e2%80%99re-bothering-other-people%e2%80%9d-10-ways-to-teach-children-how-to-act-in-public/comment-page-1/#comment-912 My Child is Stealing! Dr. Robyn Talks about Trustworthiness « Dr. Robyn Silverman’s Blog Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:30:20 +0000 http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/?p=760#comment-912 [...] wrong as of yet.  Perhaps they’re trying to get your attention.  Perhaps they simply lack self control at this time.  Whatever the reason, we know we want to teach our kids that stealing is [...] [...] wrong as of yet.  Perhaps they’re trying to get your attention.  Perhaps they simply lack self control at this time.  Whatever the reason, we know we want to teach our kids that stealing is [...]

]]> By: Ask Dr. Robyn Silverman: How do I teach respect in my home? « Dr. Robyn Silverman’s Blog http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/%e2%80%9cyou%e2%80%99re-bothering-other-people%e2%80%9d-10-ways-to-teach-children-how-to-act-in-public/comment-page-1/#comment-911 Ask Dr. Robyn Silverman: How do I teach respect in my home? « Dr. Robyn Silverman’s Blog Tue, 06 Jan 2009 17:09:15 +0000 http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/?p=760#comment-911 [...] You’re Bothering Other People! [...] [...] You’re Bothering Other People! [...]

]]> By: Do your kids ACT2LOUD? « Zandri’s Martial Arts Blog http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/%e2%80%9cyou%e2%80%99re-bothering-other-people%e2%80%9d-10-ways-to-teach-children-how-to-act-in-public/comment-page-1/#comment-910 Do your kids ACT2LOUD? « Zandri’s Martial Arts Blog Sun, 12 Oct 2008 23:58:47 +0000 http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/?p=760#comment-910 [...] Here is the link to Dr. Robyn’s blog post “You’re Bothering Other People!” 10 Ways to Teach Children How to Act in Public.” [...] [...] Here is the link to Dr. Robyn’s blog post “You’re Bothering Other People!” 10 Ways to Teach Children How to Act in Public.” [...]

]]> By: Dr. Robyn http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/%e2%80%9cyou%e2%80%99re-bothering-other-people%e2%80%9d-10-ways-to-teach-children-how-to-act-in-public/comment-page-1/#comment-909 Dr. Robyn Sun, 12 Oct 2008 19:06:12 +0000 http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/?p=760#comment-909 Hi Elizabeth- As a teacher and active auntie, we have no doubt that you have some great ideas about working with children and inspiring them to be their best. I like setting the expectation that the children are smart, capable, and resourceful. "Expecting the best" is a self fulfilling prophesy. When they know you think they can do it-- they tend to want to live up to the expectation! Thanks for your comment- Dr. Robyn Hi Elizabeth-

As a teacher and active auntie, we have no doubt that you have some great ideas about working with children and inspiring them to be their best. I like setting the expectation that the children are smart, capable, and resourceful. “Expecting the best” is a self fulfilling prophesy. When they know you think they can do it– they tend to want to live up to the expectation!

Thanks for your comment-
Dr. Robyn

]]> By: Elizabeth http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/%e2%80%9cyou%e2%80%99re-bothering-other-people%e2%80%9d-10-ways-to-teach-children-how-to-act-in-public/comment-page-1/#comment-908 Elizabeth Sat, 11 Oct 2008 17:34:44 +0000 http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/?p=760#comment-908 I do not have children, but I am a teacher and a very active auntie. I've found praising and prepping kids is the best way to get good behavior. I tell my students that they are the BEST, the SMARTEST, etc. and they start to believe it. I never have a discipline problem on a field trip or at an assembly because they know the expectations. The same student with a different teacher for the assembly will often get kicked out! I do not have children, but I am a teacher and a very active auntie. I’ve found praising and prepping kids is the best way to get good behavior. I tell my students that they are the BEST, the SMARTEST, etc. and they start to believe it. I never have a discipline problem on a field trip or at an assembly because they know the expectations. The same student with a different teacher for the assembly will often get kicked out!

]]> By: Dr. Robyn http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/%e2%80%9cyou%e2%80%99re-bothering-other-people%e2%80%9d-10-ways-to-teach-children-how-to-act-in-public/comment-page-1/#comment-907 Dr. Robyn Thu, 09 Oct 2008 23:12:46 +0000 http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/?p=760#comment-907 Yes-- like night and day sometimes. Of course, it's great to be prepared and accepting of these differences. Angela-- your parents must have had a lot of tolerance-- or a lot of wine? :) The problem I find at times is that once siblings fall into opposite patterns, some parents come to EXPECT opposite behaviors-- which isn't always fair. It's hard to go against parental expectations-- even when they're negative.Self fulfilling prophecies. You being a teacher-- you know that all children need to be taught how to be respectful-- but they may need to be taught in different ways-- and they may need to express their respect in different ways from each other. All tactics won't work for all children-- just because something worked with one sibling (in your case, simple corrections, modeling may have worked), it may not work with another! Different personalities, different temperaments! We must meet children where they are-- and that's not always where we wish they were! Dr. Robyn Yes– like night and day sometimes. Of course, it’s great to be prepared and accepting of these differences. Angela– your parents must have had a lot of tolerance– or a lot of wine? :)

The problem I find at times is that once siblings fall into opposite patterns, some parents come to EXPECT opposite behaviors– which isn’t always fair. It’s hard to go against parental expectations– even when they’re negative.Self fulfilling prophecies.

You being a teacher– you know that all children need to be taught how to be respectful– but they may need to be taught in different ways– and they may need to express their respect in different ways from each other. All tactics won’t work for all children– just because something worked with one sibling (in your case, simple corrections, modeling may have worked), it may not work with another! Different personalities, different temperaments!

We must meet children where they are– and that’s not always where we wish they were!

Dr. Robyn

]]> By: Angela http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/%e2%80%9cyou%e2%80%99re-bothering-other-people%e2%80%9d-10-ways-to-teach-children-how-to-act-in-public/comment-page-1/#comment-906 Angela Thu, 09 Oct 2008 19:24:30 +0000 http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/?p=760#comment-906 I agree with the whole idea that siblings can be so different. As a teacher I see that a lot, but I also know from my own experience. When I was little I was at a family dinner. Everyone was there...aunts, uncles ,...grandparents etc. My younger sister basically threw a fit and screamed and cried and then finally threw an entire plate of food into my dad's lap. My dad took her outside and waited until my mom had finished eating and then they switched. Now that's not something I ever did. I was definitely the more compliant one. Even today my sister and I are complete opposites. I agree with the whole idea that siblings can be so different. As a teacher I see that a lot, but I also know from my own experience. When I was little I was at a family dinner. Everyone was there…aunts, uncles ,…grandparents etc. My younger sister basically threw a fit and screamed and cried and then finally threw an entire plate of food into my dad’s lap. My dad took her outside and waited until my mom had finished eating and then they switched. Now that’s not something I ever did. I was definitely the more compliant one. Even today my sister and I are complete opposites.

]]> By: Dr. Robyn http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/%e2%80%9cyou%e2%80%99re-bothering-other-people%e2%80%9d-10-ways-to-teach-children-how-to-act-in-public/comment-page-1/#comment-905 Dr. Robyn Thu, 09 Oct 2008 15:23:20 +0000 http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/?p=760#comment-905 HI Vicki- Yes, children do tend to vary from person to person and what seems easy for one may not be for another. Back to the drawing board! Just think how satisfied you'll feel when your second one achieves the feat of NOT being "that one" in public! Just an additional note for people with siblings in the family- sometimes, when children feel compared with their siblings, they'll go in the exact opposite direction. The same thing is true for labeling. We want to steer clear of both of those things. Talk to you soon! Dr. Robyn HI Vicki-

Yes, children do tend to vary from person to person and what seems easy for one may not be for another. Back to the drawing board! Just think how satisfied you’ll feel when your second one achieves the feat of NOT being “that one” in public!

Just an additional note for people with siblings in the family- sometimes, when children feel compared with their siblings, they’ll go in the exact opposite direction. The same thing is true for labeling. We want to steer clear of both of those things.

Talk to you soon!
Dr. Robyn

]]> By: notsosahm http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/%e2%80%9cyou%e2%80%99re-bothering-other-people%e2%80%9d-10-ways-to-teach-children-how-to-act-in-public/comment-page-1/#comment-904 notsosahm Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:34:25 +0000 http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/?p=760#comment-904 I agree. And the practicing part is very essential. We're slowly working on that with our 20 month old (the one we wrote the post about..."we have one of *those* kids"). It's so different with her than with our oldest though. Our first-born was (and still is) very compliant and well mannered. We thought taking kids out in public was such an easy thing. Now, God has humbled us with her sister, and we are actually trying to practice what we read with the first one (but never really had to put into place that much). I agree. And the practicing part is very essential. We’re slowly working on that with our 20 month old (the one we wrote the post about…”we have one of *those* kids”). It’s so different with her than with our oldest though. Our first-born was (and still is) very compliant and well mannered. We thought taking kids out in public was such an easy thing. Now, God has humbled us with her sister, and we are actually trying to practice what we read with the first one (but never really had to put into place that much).

]]> By: Dr. Robyn http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/%e2%80%9cyou%e2%80%99re-bothering-other-people%e2%80%9d-10-ways-to-teach-children-how-to-act-in-public/comment-page-1/#comment-903 Dr. Robyn Thu, 09 Oct 2008 01:30:39 +0000 http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/?p=760#comment-903 Thank you for your comment, Deb. We all need to remember these steps whether we are new parents or older parents-- since older parents become grandparents a lot of the time! Dr. Robyn Thank you for your comment, Deb. We all need to remember these steps whether we are new parents or older parents– since older parents become grandparents a lot of the time!

Dr. Robyn

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