“Can you provide your thoughts on the trend we have been seeing with parents over scheduling their children, with an activity sometimes every night of the week. Is there a general agreement with child development specialists as to what is an appropriate number of activities by age?”
I get this question about children and over-scheduling quite often. As children are all different, there is no easy, single answer to this question. Parents need to be sensitive to their own child and stay vigilant. Asking these questions can help:
(1) Does my child seem stressed?
(2) What does my child really WANT to do?
(3) If s/he takes on this activity, what must s/he give up? What will s/he gain? What is the goal?
(4) Is my child able to complete tasks required of him/her or that I find important (i.e. homework, chores, family time, religious training, etc)?
(5) Is my child able to do what s/he needs to do to stay healthy (i.e. play, sleep, relax, connect)?
(6) Before my child goes to this activity, how does s/he seem emotionally and physically?
(7) During this activity, is my child engaged, excited, focused or distracted, tired, or stressed?
(8) After my child goes to this activity, how does s/he seem emotionally and physically?
(9) When I ask my child if s/he feels s/he has enough time to do the things s/he wants to do and needs to do, what does s/he say?
(10) Does each activity fulfill him/her or empty him/her?
It’s not a competition. Remember, your children are supposed to enjoy their time in these activities. They are supposed to learn something. If enjoyment and learning are being compromised by undue stress and exhaustion, these activities are more counterproductive than beneficial.
