You are who you hang out with– or perhaps we should say, you do what you see.
So…want great self control? Hang around with other people who have great self control. A recent study out of the University of Georgia and Duke University suggests that self control or lack of self control, is contagious.
We see it with kids– they’re more hyper around the kids who are hyper and more relaxed around the kids who are relaxed. We see it with teens– they’re more inclined to smoke or drink around peers who do the same. They’re also more likely to say no to such things when they have friends who do the same.
There are a lot of perks to this news– if you are trying to curb some unhealthy habits like binging on high sodium, high sugar fast foods or, perhaps, like smoking, drinking, cheating, stealing, or lying, hanging around with others who have strong self control is the way to go. By the same token, if you choose to hang around those who have poor self control, you will likely have to suffer the consequences as well.
This study– or series of studies– caught my eye for a few reasons. First, our Powerful Word of the Month is “Self Control.” With all the children, teens, and adults focusing on self control this month, it’s important to know how best to increase one’s self control and also how one might threaten it.
Second, with all the talk on fat talk (and studies as well), it follows that hanging around with others who fat talk will decrease your self control around the behavior– leading you to do more of it. The trouble I find, besides the obvious when it comes to fat talk, is that the actual “dieting” and restrictive eating also tend to be contagious. So we must watch extreme self control as well.
Third, I want to warn, this is not a set up for projection. We can’t blame our lack of self control on others. After all, YOU choose who you hang out with and YOU ultimately choose your behaviors.
“This isn’t an excuse for blaming other people for our failures. Yes, I’m getting nudged, but it’s not like my friend is taking the cookie and feeding it to me; the decision is ultimately mine. ” (Lead author, Michelle vanDellen)
Finally, I was thinking about an issue that was explored on the Today Show this morning during my morning workout at Planet Fitness. They were talking about salt and how Americans are getting way too much of it. In fact, while we are supposed to be getting about a teaspoon of salt per day, we’re actually getting, on average, one and a half that dosage. Why was I thinking about self control? The doctor was talking about how the problem didn’t lie in the use of the salt shaker, but rather, in the fast food that so many Americans eat. The danger of the statement is, that many will hear that the issue is not in their control– thus self control is not an issue. This is the wrong message. We must curb the fast food, yes, but we also must curb the addition of salt to all our favorite foods. We must stay in control of our diets– and not allow restaurants to determine the outcome of our heart health.
What do we learn from all of this? We really do what we see. We are who we hang around with. You want to make changes in your self control? Take control of what– and who– is around you.
