Sexually Explicit Images, Pornography, and Boys

Sexually explicit images and pornography are all around us.  Unfortunately, we’re so inundated, many of us barely notice anymore. It DOES have an impact though.

As many of you know, I was the Content Consultant for 16 books for middle schoolers, eight for girls (Strong Beautiful Girls Series) and eight for boys (The Guy’s Guide). In one of the books for the boys series, we broach the topic of pornography.  The story follows a boy who happens upon an adult website when misspelling the URL he typed into the search engine.  When he tells his friends about it, they want to see too—and they begin to view the photos together after school.

The story demonstrates that there is no “bouncer” keeping your children and teens from getting access to inappropriate material.  It’s not just out there—it’s completely accessible.

An article came out today on Ask the Mediatrician (Dr. Micheal Rich) that caught my eye because it deals with this issue. He echoes much of what I wrote in my Ask Dr. Robyn section of The Guy’s Guide. Pornography affects teens views of sex. As teens are still forming their understanding of sex and what it means to be sexual, exposure to pornography can skew their attitudes.  It tells them what they should expect, how they should view women, what is desirable, how they should treat others, and what’s realistic—even if it isn’t.

For boys, research suggests that pornography can:

• Result in objectification of, desensitization to, and reduced empathy for women.
• Lead to more dominant behaviors when interacting with women
• Create skewed expectations about sex and sexual interactions
• Make boys think of girls and women as sex objects

What should you do?

• Don’t wait to talk about to your teens about sex. Sex and sexual messages are all around us. If you don’t talk to your teens, someone else will and you might not like what messages are conveyed.
• Teach your children and teens about media literacy.  They need to be able to understand what is truth and what are tricks to make you think something is true.
• Don’t shame your children and teens when they ask about sex or are curious about sex.  Remain open to answering their questions or find someone else who can do that for you.
• When media provides a springboard for discussion, take it.  There are so many programs on TV that your teens are already watching that are sending them messages about sex everyday.
• Convey your values. Let them know how you feel about the messages that are out there, how women are depicted in the media, and what you feel is really important.
• Get Dad or another important male involved in the discussion.  Dads can make a real difference and a huge impact when it comes to boys’ understanding about sex and relationship.
• Talk positively about girls and women and be specific. What amazing inner assets does your sister, Aunt, friend, or teacher bring to the table? Bring your children and teens into this discussion.
• Model positive relationships.  Show your teens what a loving, respectful relationship looks like so that they see what they should really expect and seek.

We’re discussing this issue over on my FB Fan Page so come on over or give your views here.  What would you do if you found out that a teen boy you care about was repeatedly viewing pornographic material? What one piece of information would you want to convey to him? What would you want to convey to the girls in your life?

Tagged as: Dr. Robyn Silverman, Media Literacy, pornography, sex, Teens