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Parents! 6 Questions to ask about Barack Obama's Address

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Questions to ask yourself and talk to your children about after watching

Barack Obama’s Inaugural address

Dr. Robyn Silverman

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When I was a little girl, a newscaster approached me and my Grandmother (Nanny) when we were outside of the Shoprite in West Orange, NJ.  As it was the anniversary of John F. Kennedy‘s assassination, he wanted to ask Nanny 2 questions; “Where were you when Kennedy was shot?” and “What do you think the impact was of this event?”

This memory comes to mind on this great day as Barack Obama becomes the 44th president of the United States.  With such historical significance, I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re asked to recall where we were when President Obama was elected and what we think the impact of the event was on our country and on our families.

It’s in that spirit that I ask you, our Powerful Parents, to reflect with the Powerful Family Community on some questions and thoughts as you watch the swearing in ceremony and President Obama’s inaugural address:

(1) First, jot down where you are watching the event.  Are you there in Washington DC? Watching at home? Watching with friends and family?  Who’s there and what did you plan for this day?

(2) How did you feel when you heard the swearing in ceremony?  Were you touched and moved?  What thoughts ran through your mind about the state of our country or how your children and family will be impacted by this man and the decisions he will make with his team?

(3) What struck you about Obama’s address? Any quotes or messages that stick out in your mind? Anything you wished he would have said but didn’t?  Anything he said that surprised you?

(4) How do you think this election will impact the US and world in 4 years? 8 years? 50 years?

(5) What do you want your kids/grandkids to know about the event after its over and for the years to come?

(6) What is the most powerful thing about this man and this presidency? What powerful words come to mind when you think of Barack Obama?

I will be watching along with all of you.  I’m eager to hear your thoughts.

Dr. Robyn Silverman signs

Dr. Robyn Silverman Announces…We're Adopting a Baby!

OUr baby- 18 weeks in utero

Our baby- 18 weeks in utero-- Looking very content!

We’re adopting a baby!
Dr. Robyn Silverman

We’re excited to announce to our Powerful Parent community that we’re adopting a baby, due March 1st!  We’ve been matched with a wonderful couple since early July.  We couldn’t be more excited!

The picture above is from our ultrasound appointment that we went to in early October with our birth-parents.  We found out at that time, we would be having a daughter!

We’ll be going out for the birth in about 5-6 weeks and are honored to be included in the delivery room.

FAQ  about Dr. Robyn’s adoption:

(1) What country are you adopting from? United States

(2) Do you know what you’re having? It’s a girl!

(3) What kind of adoption is it? Open adoption. We speak/text with the birth parents often and have become quite close.  We adore them.  Our birth mom tell us what’s going on with the pregnancy, plays the CD we made for the baby each day, and sends us pictures as she grows.  She even sent us a picture of the baby kicking at her belly! We are thrilled that we’ll continue to have contact with them after the birth to update them on how the baby is doing, send them pictures, and visit, when possible! After doing a lot of reading on open adoption, we decided that it was the best option for us because we want our child to have the opportunity to ask questions, know who her birth parents are, and get the full story with no secrets. When we met our birth parents face to face, we were even more certain of our decision.

(4) Was the adoption process grueling? No, we’ve had a great experience.  Once we got approved for our home study, which happened very quickly, we were matched with our wonderful birth parents 15 days later.  It’s been a pleasure getting to know them and being a part of the pregnancy since our baby was only 5 weeks in utero. What an amazing blessing!

(5) Aren’t you nervous that…At first, of course we were nervous.  It was all so new! But as we’ve had the opportunity to talk, spend time, and get to know our birth-parents, we are certain of our decision just as our birth mom is certain of hers.  I think of myself as a great judge of character, after all, it’s what I do!  We really like and respect our birth parents and they’ve been forthright in expressing their feelings towards us and the adoption as well.  Our face to face visit with them in October made all 4 us know we were destined to meet. Since then, our mutual positive feelings for each other have been reaffirmed time and time again.

Feel free to ask questions.  We are so happy about our adoption and are grateful for all the love and support that our friends and family have given us during this incredibly special time.  We wanted to let you in on the good news as well.

Warm regards,

Dr. Robyn Silverman signs

Dr. Robyn

Some other blogs that cover adoption/children who were adopted:

Mother Issues

Mamahood and more

Hearts Wide Open

Ashley's law: Following up on Ashley McIntosh's deadly car crash

Ashley McIntosh who died in a tragic car crash with police officer Perry

Virginia Residents!

A Plea From Ashley’s Mother: Bringing Ashley’s Law to the Table

Dr. Robyn Silverman

As you know we’ve been following the tragic story of Ashley McIntosh, my niece’s teacher, who died in a horrible collision with a police officer, Amanda Perry, on an icy day last February. Witnesses had clearly seen the police car speeding through the red light without a siren, yet with lights, towards the intersection where Ashley was thrown from the car and killed. Many of you have responded in comments about this story over the last year.

There have been many questions around the negligence of the police officer as she didn’t have a siren on—something that hasn’t been required by the police. In fact, the law states that police officers are exempt from the red light/green light law if their “speed is sufficiently reduced.” While Officer Perry had been charged with reckless driving  in May, she was not found guilty in September. Now, it’s time to look at the bigger picture.  We need to protect others.

While there is no way to bring back Ashley, Ashley’s mother, Cindy McIntosh Colasanto, is trying to bring Ashley’s Law to the lawmakers.  This law would require police officers to use their lights and sirens (and slow to a safe speed) when driving through red lights .Anyone in Virginia, please pay attention:

Dear Virginia Resident,

I want to thank you for your signature on the petition urging state legislators to introduce “Ashley’s Law,” a law that would require police officers to slow their cars and turn on their sirens when driving through red lights.    My daughter, Ashley, was killed when a Fairfax County police officer failed to take those simple, life-saving measures.

State Senator Toddy Puller has now introduced a bill requiring officers to follow those guidelines.

Now I want to ask you one more favor that could make the difference in whether this bill become law.

Would you please write/email/call your local senator and representative urging him or her to vote for this bill?

I have included a sample letter that you can cut and paste into an email or letter.

Thank you for your support.   Your actions could truly save a life.

With gratitude,

Cindy McIntosh Colasanto, Ashley’s mother

Dear Assemblyman/Senator ________________:

I am writing to urge you to vote for SB 847 which will require Virginia police officers to slow to a safe speed and use their sirens when driving through red lights.
This is a common-sense requirement which protects innocent citizens as well as police by reducing the risk of potentially deadly collisions.

Thank you,

If you are a Virginia resident, please lend your support to the McIntosh family.

Best regards,

Dr. Robyn Silverman signs

Related:

Original article on Ashley McIntosh

*May 2nd 2008 update here.

*September 2008 update here

Ashley’s law website here

Health Risk! Kids Watching Lots of TV and Playing with the Computer?

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Just a few more reasons to turn off (or at least limit) the TV

Dr. Robyn Silverman

A study has been released that shows that children who watch a lot of TV, play a lot of video games, and spend a lot of time surfing the web are more likely to be in for lots of health problems and compromising behaviors. Namely, obesity, smoking, and early sexual activity.

Who studied it? Researchers from the U.S. National Institutes of Health, Yale University and the California Pacific Medical Center worked together on this large-scale study.

What did they study? Sifting through 173 studies since 1980, these researchers analyzed how exposure to different media sources impacts the physical health of children and adolescents. This was one of the largest assessments in this area done to date.

What did they look at? These (mainly U.S.) studies, typically largely on TV. However, some also looked at the impact of video games, films, music, and computer and Internet use. Of these, 75% found that increased media viewing was correlated with negative health outcomes for children.

What was the major finding? Young people who are exposed to more media are more likely to become obese, start smoking and begin earlier sexual activity than their peers who spend less time in front of a screen. They also found statistical correlations with high media exposure and low academic achievement, drug use, and alcohol use.

“The fact that it was probably more a matter of quantity than actual content is also a concern. We have a media-saturated life right now in the 21st century. And reducing the number of hours of exposure is going to be a big issue.” — Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel, NIH bioethicist

What’s this about early sexual activity and media exposure? In the study, a whopping 13 of 14 studies that evaluated sexual behavior in young people found an association between media exposure and earlier initiation of sexual behavior.

You may remember the recent RAND study that showed that teens who watch more sexually themed TV are more likely to have a higher risk of teen pregnancy.

What’s this about obesity and media exposure? There have been connections between obesity and media previously—we’ve heard explanations such as children tending to mindlessly eat (and eat high calorie food) in front of the TV. We’ve heard that children who are watching a lot of TV also are not outside running around or participating in some kind of physical activity. One study cited in this report found that children who spent more than eight hours watching TV per week at age 3 were more likely to be obese at 7 than their peers who watched less than 8 hours of TV per week. Research also shows that many U.S. children, even those at toddler age, watch far more than children elsewhere and far more than is recommended.

Let’s also not forget, that a lot of the hyper-sexualized (ultra-thin) media exposure has been linked to poor body image and pressure to grow up too fast in children and teens as well.

“The average parent doesn’t understand that if you plop your kids down in front of the TV or the computer for five hours a day, it can change their brain development, it can make them fat, and it can lead them to get involved in risky sexual activity at a young age,” –Jim Steyer, the chief executive of Common Sense Media, financer of the study.

SO, what do you think? Do you agree with Mr. Steyer? Is there another problem here? Speak your mind!

Dr. Robyn Silverman signs

picture: Jupiter

Is Your Teen On the Path to Early Pregnancy? What Research Tells Parents

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Parent Alert: What a Recent Study About Teen Pregnancy Reveals

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By Dr. Robyn Silverman

It’s not hard to believe. We saw it with Jamie Lynn Spears in the news. We saw it with American Pie (among many others) in the movies. And yes, we see it on TV. A study, published today, found that those teens and preteens who watch a lot of TV programs that feature flirting, necking, obvious sex scenes, and sex talk are much more likely than their peers who do not watch such programs to get pregnant or to get their partner pregnant.

There has been a recent surge of concern over teen pregnancy because after a steady decline over the last few decades, the number is creeping up again. Why is this happening? As we’ve discussed, girls have admitted that they’re feeling pressure to grow up too soon. Sexual messages abound. While TV and sexual content in teen programs can’t entirely be blamed, it seems to be playing a significant role. Parents beware.

The National Institutes of Health reported in July that teen pregnancies rose in the United States from 2005 to 2006 for the first time since 1991.

What was the study? This was the first study to link programs featuring TV sex scenes and TV sex talk to teen pregnancy. Those teens and preteens who watched the most TV featuring sexual content were twice as likely to be involved in a pregnancy than their peers who watched the least amount of such TV programs.

“Sexual content on television has doubled in the last few years, especially during the period of our research,” (Anita Chandra, lead researcher, Rand Corp)

Who was involved in the study? The researchers surveyed more than 2000 teens between 2001 and 2004 to gather information on their behavior, demographics, and TV viewing habits. Over 700 sexually active preteens and teens between the ages of 12 and 17 years old were tracked for 3 years.

“Watching this kind of sexual content on television is a powerful factor in increasing the likelihood of a teen pregnancy. We found a strong association.” (Anita Chandra, lead researcher)

What were they looking for? They were analyzing how often the teens saw TV characters engaging in sexual conduct or discussing sexual conduct on 23 shows in the 2000-2001 TV watching season.

Where and when was it published? The study is being published today in the well regarded journal of Pediatrics which is the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

What were some of the shows watched? Shows fell into the genres of dramas, comedies, reality shows and even animated programs. Among the shows the preteens and teens admitted watching were “Friends,” “Sex and the City,” and “That ’70s Show.” Chandra would not identify the others but stressed that they included

The stats:

Ø About 25 percent of those preteens or teens who watched the most sexually explicit shows were involved in a pregnancy, compared with about 12 percent of those who watched the least.

Ø In the study, 58 of girls reported getting pregnant and 33 boys reported getting a girl pregnant. The risk of pregnancy increased whether or not the teens and preteens watched only 1 or 2 sexually explicit shows or channel surfed many chows that had occasional sexual content

What can parents do?

Ø Educate yourself: Learn about the shows your children and teens are watching.

Ø Limit exposure: Media is everywhere. If you can limit your children’s exposure to sexually explicit media, you’re likely being a help to your children and teens.

Ø Discuss Consequences: Many TV shows don’t do a good job of detailing the consequences of sexual activity. Talk about pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and other consequences with your kids so they fully understand.

Ø Allow them to ask questions: If you aren’t around to answer, they may get their answers from somewhere else—and they might just be the wrong answers.

What people are saying:

Ø Abstinence Programming: According to Valerie Huber, a representative of the National Abstinence Education Association, “we need to encourage schools to make abstinence-centered programs a priority.” After all, “We have a highly sexualized culture that glamorizes sex.”

Ø More Sex Ed: According to James Wagoner of Advocates for Youth, “This finding underscores the importance of evidence-based sex education that helps young people delay sex and use prevention when they become sexually active. The absolutely last thing we should do in response is bury our heads in the sand and promote failed abstinence-only programs.”

Ø Connection may not be real: According to Laura Lindberg of the Guttmacher Institute, “It may be the kids who have an interest in sex watch shows with sexual content. I’m concerned this makes it seem like if we just shut off the TV we’d dramatically reduce the teen pregnancy rate.”

With whom do you agree? What do you think is the answer? Teaching abstinence to teens and preteens? More sex ed in the schools? Shutting off the TV? More conversations at home after watching such shows together? More character education?

Please offer your solutions, concerns, comments, and question below. We want to hear what you have to say!

Parents! Rise in Kiddie Kidney Stones Due to Salty Foods

Attention Parents!

A Rise in Kidney Stones in Children Due to Salty Processed Foods?

Dr. Robyn Silverman

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As if we needed another reason not to feed our children processed foods.

We’ve talked about the rise in cholesterol, weight, and now…kidney stones in children.

“I thought older men get kidney stones, not kids,” Mother of 11 year-old Tessa Cesario, aspiring ballerina, who was diagnosed with kidney stones last February

Why kidney stones when you thought that it was a middle-age problem? No surprise here. The high salt content in processed and fast foods is contributing to kidney stones in children as young as 5 or 6 years old. As parents, how can we be responsible?  Are we responsible?

What’s going on? Though much of the research is on adult patients, experts believe that kidney stones in children are due to dietary factors. Kidney stones are crystallizations of several different substances in urine. When these substances become increasingly concentrated, kidney stones form.

Major factors? High salt intake and low fluid intake. These risk factors increase the amount of calcium and oxalate in the urine, the culprits in the formation of 40-65 percent of kidney stones.

Where’s all the salt coming from? Salty foods like chips and French fries as well as common lunchbox stuffers; processed sandwich meats, canned soups, pre-packed meals, and energy drinks like Gatorade.

“What we’ve really seen is an increase in the salt load in children’s diet,” –Dr. Bruce L. Slaughenhoupt, co-director of the pediatric kidney stone clinic and the pediatric urology at the University of Wisconsin

Remember our discussion from Fast Food Flops For Tots? Besides being almost always too high in calories, 45 percent of the kids’ meals at the 13 chains studied by CSPI are too high in saturated and trans fat, and 86 percent are too high in SODIUM. And what the salt in these common lunchbox stuffers?

  • Oscar Mayer Lunchables Deluxe Turkey and Ham with Swiss and Cheddar, 1 package= 1940 mg of sodium
  • Oscar Mayer Lunchables Megapak Pizza Deep Dish Extra Cheesy, 1 package= 1240 mg of sodium
  • Oscar Mayer Lunchables Megapak Deep Dish Pepperoni, 1 package= 1250 mg of sodium

*Recommended salt intake for children? Everyone needs some salt– but not a lot!

  • Less than 1g per day from 0-6 month;
  • 1g per day from 7-12 months;
  • 2g per day from 1-3 years;
  • 3g per day from 4-6 years;
  • 5g per day from 7-10 years.

* These are maximum levels– aim for less.

Why the problem with fluid intake? Children aren’t drinking enough water throughout the day—especially not in school. They only drink when thirsty and by that time it may be too little water too late.

    “They don’t want to go to the bathroom at school; they don’t have time, so they drink less,” said Dr. Alicia Neu, medical director of pediatric nephrology and the pediatric stone clinic at Johns Hopkins Children’s Center in Baltimore.

Any other contributors? Soda. Evidence shows that sucrose, found in sodas, can also increase risk of kidney stones in children. In addition, high-protein weight-loss diets, popular with teens, can also contribute to a higher incidence of kidney stones.

Median Age for Kidney Stones in Children: 10 years old

Possible description? While some have mentioned “obesity” as a possible factor, most doctors admit that children with healthy weights can suffer from kidney stones as well.

    “Of the school-age and adolescent kids we’ve seen, most of them appear to be reasonably fit, active kids,” Dr. Nelson said. “We’re not seeing a parade of overweight Nintendo players.”

    “There’s no question in my mind that it is largely dietary and directly related to the childhood obesity epidemic,” Dr. Pope, Nashville

Family History Connection? Yes, 60% of the time. If a child has a family history of kidney stones, it’s very important to recognize their risk, curb high salt consumption, and increase hydration.

How will I know? Children with kidney stones may complain of stomach aches, severe pain in their side or stomachs, feeling sick to their stomach, or even have blood in their urine.

What can I do now? Encourage your children to drink more water both at home and in school. Stay away from processed foods, read the labels on canned soups and look for low sodium varieties or make your own and freeze them in small amounts. Switch soda for more healthful options—some of which are listed here. Get your children on board and teach them the components of a healthful lunch and how to take care of their bodies so that they stay healthy for a long, long time.

What do you think? Do you believe our children are eating too much salt? Is this just the beginning? Are our children’s diets getting worse? Do you have any tips or ideas? Changes you’ve made? Share your story below.


7 Ways to Raise a Prejudiced Child

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How to Raise a Racist, Sexist, Ageist, Sizeist, Prejudiced Child

Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman

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Racism. Sexism. Ageism. Sizeism. Prejudice is ugly and transferable.

After Grandmother, Gayle Quinnell declared that “Barack Obama is an Arab” during a John McCain rally (to his dismay), and justified that this, albeit false, information was good reason for her prejudice reaction to the next possible president of the United States, I cringed. No matter what your political affiliation, it’s these kinds of statements that go against positive forward movement in the United States and the rest of the world. What further disturbed me was, in an impromptu interview with Ms. Quinnell after the rally, she bragged that this is the kind of information she was freely feeding her children. Children are impressionable and prejudice is transferable.

Know anyone like this? Have you seen it before?

Here are just a few ways that people teach children how to be prejudice—whether we’re talking about racism, sexism, ageism or any other “ism” you can think of:

(1) It’s in your physical reactions: Even young children and babies can feel the difference when a parent holds them tighter in a neighborhood that makes them uncomfortable or around a person that makes them squeamish. Imagine that every time a parent opens the door to receive a package from a black UPS delivery person, s/he is terse, jittery, rude, or close-bodied but every time a parent opens the door for a white UPS delivery person, s/he is positive, kind, and relaxed. You might think that children won’t pick up on this—but next to you, your children probably can sense body changes in you fastest and easiest. The message becomes clear; “Black people make my parents feel uncomfortable, therefore they must be bad.”

(2) It’s in your choice of words: Everything that comes out of your mouth when your children are around is likely heard—even if you don’t think it is. That means that what you shout at the TV, how you explain who you’re voting for in the upcoming election and what you say about other drivers while in your car may just be imbedded in a young child’s lexicon forever. One of my coaching clients mentioned one day that they were in their traffic with their 3 year old when they stopped short. Wile the parent said nothing, the youngster exclaimed, “Old people shouldn’t drive!” Now, where do you think she heard that before?

(3) It’s in your reactions towards them: When your children say something rude or prejudice, the way you react is worth a thousand words. For example, when a male teacher came to me and said that one of his 5 year old male students, while watching a female classmate demonstrate a skill in class, said “blond girls are airheads,” he couldn’t help but laugh. He had heard the same statement from the boy’s father while he was—get this—cooing his 2 year old daughter. Our laughter only reinforces these statements and adds fuel to the fire.

(4) It’s in your choices: Here’s a very subtle one rooted in the past and caused many arguments in my house when I was young and wanted to do whatever my brothers did. If you choose to allow your boys to do things that you declare your girls shouldn’t do or can’t do, you are brewing up stereotyping and prejudice. So, for example, one of my girls from my preteen coaching group, Sassy Sisterhood, said in group, “Whenever we need to move the chairs and desks around in class, my teacher only picks the boys.” What does that say to the girls?

(5) It’s in the way you take responsibility : Upon hearing children say prejudice remarks, you can either choose to take responsibility or not. Denial is certainly a strong reaction. Many people believe that children can’t understand what is being said or done—but while they may not process it all in the same way as an adult, they do indeed process it. Shrugging off responsibility for racism, sexism, sizeism, or ageism, is not helpful. You are right—they may not have gotten it from you—but it still remains our responsibility to teach them the right way to react to others, isn’t it?

(6) It’s in the way you accept yourself: Do you look in the mirror and bash your “fat thighs” [fat=bad] or swear at your “old wrinkly skin” [old=bad]? Do you joke with your family over the holiday table about needing to fix your “huge Italian nose” or your “Asian eyelids” [Race=Different=Bad]? You are your children’s role models. Your children hear this—they see it—and they process it. When we don’t accept what makes us who we are, how can we expect our children to accept themselves? In this case, parents are teaching children to reject these features in themselves as well as in others.

(7) It’s in who surrounds them: You probably heard the statement “surround yourself with positive people.” When it comes to children they tend to become similar to the people with whom they spend time—it’s part of positive assimilation with a group. Therefore, when you surround your children with people who make statements laced with prejudice or act or react with prejudice motives, your children have a great chance of adopting similar prejudices. One boy, age 7, told me that his Uncle kept calling him a redneck since the family moved to Texas a year before. He didn’t really know what it meant, but from what his Uncle said, he gleaned that it wasn’t a good thing. The boy was actually having trouble making friends and was certain he wanted to move back to New York.

As parents, it’s vital that we first admit when there’s a problem and then work to take responsibility and correct it. Watch your actions, your reactions, and your words. Remember to stop generalizing about groups of people—it sells others short and robs your children of learning from others and enjoying the individual gifts they bring to the table. It also shoved your children in a corner and causes them to be narrow-minded.

Surround your children with people of unique backgrounds who celebrate themselves and where they have come from so that your children are more likely to adopt a more accepting, open-minded, and global worldview. We must find role models that don’t fail our children. And finally, talk to your children about prejudice—tell them how you feel about it—your family values and why prejudice is limiting both to others and to oneself.

When it comes down to it, parents and educators must be sensitive to the transference of prejudice is they are going to stop the cycle.

I’m very interested in your comments and your experiences with children and prejudice.  Please comment below.

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Dr. Robyn featured on Bigg Success Radio Show

Previous Powerful Parenting blog post article; Grow up!  How were Treating Our Children Like Little Adults, in which we discussed 5 ways that children were forced to grow up too soon, was featured today on the internet radio show Bigg Success.

Click here to listen and read the write up.

Some recent comments related to the article:

This *is* disturbing. Children are no longer needed in families for help on the farm, or to help with anything really. They’re accessories (which I’ve opined a little about on my blog) and we’re treating them as such.

I’m not the best about making my kids get out and play. I need to get better about that. I need to be better with that myself! (Vicki, NotsoSahm)

My two young boys, 7 and 3, LOVE the outdoors! For the longest time I was terrified of dirt, germs, and anything else that wasn’t sanitized. That all changed with our latest military move from a large city environment to a more country like setting. They now play in dirt and mud *gasp*, go fishing and grab live fish *double gasp*, and catch interesting bugs and spiders in jars. Yes, they smell when we get home, yes they get dirty and scraped but they love it, AND it’s healthy for them. I can’t imagine what would happen if I trapped them indoors and didn’t let them experience unstructured play. What a depressing thought. (Mrs. X)

This is a FANTASTIC post! I linked to you from Best Post of the Week.

You are so right on in these points!

We are striving to let our kids be kids and to let them have an unhurried childhood! We’ve refused thus far to enroll them in every available activity and have preferred unstructured free play outdoors, arts and crafts, and toys like building blocks.

This post was a great encouragement! (Daja)

At first I thought this was going to be one of those posts where I’m made to feel guilty for giving my kids chores to do and for teaching them to act responsibly with their things, their interactions with others, and their conduct. Phew! I’m in 100% agreement with what you’re saying. Parents are pushing their children to be little adults, but at the expense of moral accountability and a proper perspective of priorities. My husband and I have always insisted our children live lives of integrity whether they’re “hanging out” , biking to the park or completing schoolwork. But their innocence is something we try to protect! (Deb. Burton)

Interesting information! These are all things I knew, but didn’t really think about often. As a middle school teacher, we see children babied by parents. Kids who can’t pick out their own clothes, study for a quiz on their own, or speak to adults clearly.
I agree about the adult-sized meals, ridiculous, and waxing, come on! My niece is quite content with home mani-pedis with Mom and Auntie! (Elizabeth)

Comment below! Enjoy your weekend!

Grow up, Government! Part 1

How the Government is failing to be role models for our youth; Part 1

Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman

I was just talking to my husband, Jason, last night about how when I was little, I thought the president and everyone “in charge” knew everything.  I also thought that when people became adults, they acted like adults. Oh well.

We are repeatedly telling our children to show respect and be responsible but what happens when our efforts get sabotaged by the government that is leading the way?

Like many of you, I’ve been disgusted by what’s gone on Wall Street lately. But what disgusts me more is adults acting like tantruming, irresponsible, untrustworthy toddlers.

“This bill failed because Barack Obama and the Democrats put politics ahead of country,” – McCain’s senior policy advisor Doug Holtz-Eakin

[Those statements were] “angry and hyper-partisan [and] exactly why the American people are disgusted with Washington.” –Bill Burton, Obama spokesman

In other words…

“It’s all your fault!”

“No it’s not! You take that back!”

Sound familiar? What’s next?

“Mommmm! John is pointing fingers!”

“Daaaaaaaaaaad! Barack is making a mean face!

What do we really have here? Grown men and women– stealing what’s not theirs, arguing incessantly, and refusing to come to an agreement because they didn’t like what someone did or said. And what’s worse, we have 2 presidential candidates—one of whom will be our next president—pointing fingers at each other saying “it’s your fault, you didn’t do as much as I did.” Come on folks. Get a grip. Take a time out if you need to and let’s get back to work.

Have your say– do these folks need a time out, a gold star reward system, or a stern talking to? Comment below. Tomorrow we’ll talk about questions to ask your children regarding these issues.

Ashley McIntosh: Denied Justice for Deadly Car Crash with Police?

Ashley McIntosh: Justice Denied?

Dr. Robyn Silverman

Bad weather, No Siren, Red Light: A case of an Officer given preferential treatment? You Make the Call

As many of you know, my niece Evie and her schoolmates lost their beloved teaching assistant, Ashley McIntosh (affectionately known as Miss Mac), last February when a police officer, Amanda Perry, crashed into her Toyota sedan. The Fairfax County police officer, as witnessed by several onlookers, had driven through a red light with her emergency lights on but without a siren. Upon impact, Ashley was tragically ejected from the vehicle.

Although the officer had been charged with reckless driving in May, she was found not guilty last week to the shock of Ashley’s family and friends.

“Taking the totality of the circumstances I don’t find the evidence rises to a level that the driving was reckless.” — General District Judge Sarah L. Deneke

Witnesses all voiced that police officer Perry was driving at a speed close to 50 mph and spend through the intersection. Virginia law states that officers are actually not required to sound their sirens when they’re running red lights. (Clearly, this law needs to be amended as the practice resulted in a preventable deadly crash). Perry stated that she was indeed trying to turn on her siren while making herself aware of the traffic ahead of her but despite her efforts, “it did not come on.”

A video from officer Perry’s dashboard, which showed that the officer hit the brakes and turned on her emergency lights, was the key piece of evidence that prompted the not guilty verdict. Perry had perceived that the intersection was clear. For several seconds before the crash, the officer did not use her brakes or swerve. The light had been red for about 5 seconds prior to the crash. Perhaps not surprisingly, she claimed that McIntosh’s car “came out of nowhere.” Perry was going between 38-44 mph, according to crash experts, when the crash occurred. Perry was not seriously hurt but Ashley suffered fatal injuries that led to her death the following day.

“The judge saw the video and heard all the testimony and the judge found that that did not rise to the level of a conscious disregard for life, limb or property,” Ed Nuttall, defense attorney

Ashley McIntosh had her whole life ahead of her. She was loved by the children at Clermont Elementary School. She was engaged to the love of her life. She was young and contagiously happy.

Ashley’s supporters, many of whom signed the petition that begged for justice to be served despite the fact that an officer was involved which appeared to be delaying and swaying the process, are in shock. She has yet to apologize to the family. Perry has taken no responsibility whatsoever. Supporter recently commented on our blog about the outrage concerning the lack of outrage and the fact that Amanda Perry was allowed to leave the courtroom through a special entrance, without statement.

It is obvious that the reckless driving charge was a set up. It was a charge designed to placate Fx Co residents but it is a charge the Commonwealth’s Attorney knew could, and would, be defeated. A charge of running a red light was indisputable and would have certainly resulted in a conviction and would have paved the way for a wrongful death suit. Where is the outrage? Other than the Washington Post, I have not connected with any of the outrage this case deserves. –RT Greenwood

Now that the officer has been found “not guilty” of the absurdly low level charge DESPITE traversing the intersection at 45 mph with NO SIREN activated (to investigate shoplifting?), will you be following through to demand some independent oversight for the Fairfax County police, required to attain no more than a high school diploma in a county and state with NO independent Ethics Commission/No Inspector General and led (as “chiefs” of police) by a revolving door of insider males? Should the defendent have been allowed to leave the courtroom through a side door used by deputies? –C Green

Cindy Colasanto, Ashley’s grieving mother, read a statement prepared in the event of an unexpected acquittal.

“It’s beyond any understanding I have to think that an officer of the law, sworn to protect and defend us, is not held responsible for the irresponsible decision she made, responding to a call and resulting in the violent death of my daughter. Her misdeed has caused my family lifelong grief and a pain that we’ll never forget.”

The attorney for Officer Perry argued that the crash was the fault of Ashley. Ashley’s car was going about 22 to 26 mph through her green light.

“It’s clear from the video, Ms. McIntosh’s vehicle is not taking a left-hand turn. . . . The way in which Ms. McIntosh’s vehicle was driven was unforeseeable [to Officer Perry] and therefore the reason that this impact occurred.” –Edward Nuttall

NOTE: While Ashley’s light was definitely green and Officer Perry’s light was certainly red, police officers are exempt from the red light/green light law if their “speed is sufficiently reduced.” Of course, considering that they have due regard to the safety of persons and property.” However, the law states that the officers must have both their lights and their siren on, which was not the case here.

My deepest condolences to Ashley’s family and loved ones.

Do you think the officer was given the same treatment and verdict as a common citizen would be given? Voice your opinion.

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